Sunday, June 24 , 2018, 9:55 am | Overcast 65º

She Said, Z Said

She Said, Z Said: A Crystal Clear Look at a Milestone Anniversary

Leslie and Zak assess their wedded bliss and conclude there's no present like the time for a 15th anniversary gift — unless you can get Crystal on the phone

Z: Happy Anniversary.

She: Awww. You shouldn’t have. For me? A column that we both have to work on for my anniversary present? You’re so sweet. This is even better than the time you gave me Pustefix bubbles for my birthday.

Z: That was a rockin’ gift, wasn’t it?

She: Almost as good as the year you didn’t give me a cake. So is the 15th year really the “column” anniversary?

Z: No. This year was a tough one. The 15th anniversary is crystal. What do we need that’s crystal?

She: I’m not sure. It’s not like we need another crystal vase around here. Thanks for the flowers, by the way. Only 27 more vases to fill.

Z: We definitely don’t need any more of those. The only way we’ll get any more use out of them is if I start using them as beer mugs.

She: And we’d be smacking our heads against a crystal chandelier.

Z: How about a hooker named Crystal? And some crystal meth?

She: It’s becoming crystal clear that the gift of working on the column is perfect.

Z: You are so lucky to have married an incorrigible romantic such as myself.

She: I remind myself about that every day. Sometimes even two or three times a day.

Z: What is it about anniversaries that nobody really expects too much?

She: Don’t discount Susie’s phone call, where she congratulated me for “hanging in there all these years.”

Z: Sweet. Proof positive that I have lowered the bar brilliantly.

She: I don’t think that’s where she was going.

Z: As if “hanging in there” with me could have been anything other than pure pleasure.

She: Is Crystal still available?

Z: But to most people we know anniversaries are no big deal.

She: Do you mean how no one was surprised that we spent our anniversary night at our kid’s basketball game?

Z: Exactly. If it was your birthday or even Flag Day, then people would wonder why we weren’t doing something more exciting.

She: I think it’s because it’s the 15th anniversary. Fifteenth pretty much means you have kids, and you’re doing whatever it is that they’re doing. This is the circle we run in.

Z: It is a bit much to see your anniversary, a basketball game, chess club and class pancake breakfast all on the same date.

She: A great anniversary would have a perfectly blank calendar page.

Z: There you go. They should change the 15th anniversary tradition from crystal to day planner.

She: Now that I could use. If you bought me some new pages for my Franklin, then I would know that the fire still burned inside.

Z: Who knew that time management could make you hot?

She: Are you kidding? You know what would make the perfect 15th anniversary present? If you helped me manage my time better by taking Koss to school every day so I could sleep in.

Z: That’s not time management. That’s time extortion.

She: And If you helped give me more time off by encouraging me to have nights out with my girl friends.

Z: Time blackmail.

She: What a great idea. You’re so thoughtful. Finally after all of these years of marriage I think you really understand me.

Z: Yes, dear.

— Share your anniversary celebration suggestions with She and Z at [email protected] In the meantime, join Noozhawk in wishing them a very happy anniversary!

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