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Sunday, January 20 , 2019, 9:50 pm | A Few Clouds 57º


Will Durst: Hateful Haters Hating Hate

Someone please tell the radical left to stop getting their panties in a bundle and quit calling our president a Nazi. Donald Trump proved himself a great friend of freedom when he promoted equivalency between the organized hate movement and people disgusted by them.

Anyone who hates haters is equally responsible for hateful hating. That is obvious.

After a riot broke out during a Unite the Right March in Charlottesville, Va., there was, according to Trump, violence “on many sides.” He then sagely observed there are two sides to every story. Which is true.

There are two sides to every story; it’s just harder to distinguish them when one side is full of Nazis.

Sure, one group carried bats and clubs and body armor and shouted slogans denigrating Jews and blacks, but the counter-protesters purposefully dented those clubs and bats with their heads and various body parts. Many pieces of expensive defensive equipment now need to be replaced. At retail.

And, yeah, someone might have driven a car into a crowd, but most of the casualties were caused by slow-footed liberals who refused to get out of the way. Then they fell to the ground, blocking further traffic by littering the surface of a major metropolitan street with toxic substances such as blood. Without a permit.

It’s easy to understand why Trump refuses to announce there is no room in his administration for racists. All the slots are full. But then the weenie liberal outcry became so strident, the Tweeter of the Free World was forced to fire chief strategist Steve Bannon, even after assuring us, “he is not a racist.”

That would have sufficed, but unfortunately 45 went on to say that neither was Bannon a drunk, fond of livestock or an incredibly bad dresser who more often that not sported gravy stains on his tie and eyebrows.

All Trump wants is an even playing field. That’s why he accused the media of being unfair to Nazis. Unlike the editorial room of The New York Times, our blue-collar billionaire leader hasn’t forgotten that white supremacists are people, too. They have feelings just like normal human beings. And needs and desires.

It just so happens that one of their desires is most of us don’t exist.

They’re not asking us to change, they’re asking us to leave. We need to look inside ourselves and ask if it’s really our place to judge them based on the nature of their hate. If we prick a white supremacist, do they not bleed? If we tickle them, do they not laugh? If we poke them with a cobra, do they not spawn?

A single thoughtless remark can ruin a white supremacist’s entire day. We need to remind the children the correct term for someone who believes in the superiority of the white race is “alt- right.” The terms “Nazi” and “racist” and “detestable buttwipe” can be so hurtful.

We must never forget that every white supremacist is as individual as a snowflake. Each of them is special. Some, more special than others. Quite a few-extra-crispy special. Many can’t even pronounce supremacist, much less spell it.

As Trump once said, “I love the poorly educated.” And now we know why: it’s his unbudgable base.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comedian and former Pizza Hut assistant manager syndicated by Cagle Cartoons. Click here for videos and a calendar of personal appearances, including his new one-man show, Elect to Laugh: 2016, appearing every Tuesday at The Marsh in San Francisco. Follow him on Twitter: @willdurst and click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

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