How It Works
It’s simple geometry. Picture a triangle with God at the apex (top) and the man at the left bottom corner and the woman on the right bottom corner. As the man and woman move closer to God, they automatically move closer to one another.
This is the basis of true spiritual intimacy.
Incompatible, Yet Still in Love
On paper, my wife and I are an improbable match. Our premarital counselor was visibly shaken after reviewing the results of our respective temperament and aptitude tests. He wondered how we could remain in the same room for more than 10 minutes at a time. We exhibited divergent interests on just about any subject you could name.
Soooo, in the face of all that cautionary professional advice, we did the only thing that made sense to love-struck dreamers. We got married anyway.
Now, 28 years in, we have validated everything those personality tests foretold. We seldom, if ever, agree on things like food, restaurants, vacations, hotels, friends, church, cars, colors, shoe styles, etc. She’s from Mars and I’m from Cleveland, making one wonder what it was that attracted us in the first place.
On a purely natural level, we should have been divorced on our honeymoon. On that occasion, we were “touring” Scotland in my normal take-no-prisoners manner, blasting from town to town, rushing through castles, climbing double time up staircases, pounding down frenzied meals, and focused zombie-like on our next destination.
Then, midway through one leg of my private marathon, she let out a primal scream, “STOP!!” I slammed on the brakes, and as the blue tire smoke cleared, her terrifying visage in the seat next to me was scarier than anything the Scottish Highlands could muster, dead or alive.
She reminded me that this was our honeymoon, not an Olympic touring event.
I was busted and thus began my “re-education” program that continues to this day. And, against all odds, we’re sublimely happy together despite a succession of soul-crushing adversities over the years. What accounts for this?
Our Divine ‘Love Triangle’
Simply put, there are three persons in our marriage, forming an unbreakable bond. Our incompatibilities in the natural realm aside, we are of one mind in the spiritual realm, where it really matters. We were committed Christians before we met and that trumped all the other considerations combined.
Throughout our marriage, we’ve been frustrated and angry with each other countless times. These encounters could have easily escalated into mutually destructive conflicts, considering our strong personalities and volatile tempers.
But instead of commencing hostilities, we took matters to the Lord — individually to begin with — then together once we had cooled down enough. God miraculously drove our relational roots deeper with each dust-up. In God’s economy, our personal wounds became the fountainhead of blessing to each other. Only God can do that.
Marriage in Heaven
So, is marriage close to God’s heart? Look no further than God’s “welcome to heaven” party for all who are married to Jesus:
“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he said to me, ‘Write, Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’”1
The “bride” in that passage is the Church and the “bridegroom” is Christ. It starts on earth when individual believers marry and ends in heaven when all believers join their spiritual Soulmate for all eternity.
How About You?
Those alarming statistics about a 50 percent failure rate for marriages in the United States are probably conservative. Apart from a divine “bonding agent,” people are at the mercy of blind chance when picking a lifelong mate. Without the Holy Spirit, our marriage would have been toast years ago.
Invite Jesus into the middle of your marriage (or engagement) and watch the blessings flow like a river.
— D.C. Collier is a Bible teacher, discipleship mentor and writer focused on Christian apologetics. A mechanical engineer and Internet entrepreneur, he is the author of My Origin, My Destiny, a book focused on Christianity’s basic “value proposition.” Click here for more information. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.
1. Revelation 19:7-9 New American Standard Bible