Dear Annie: I consider myself to be a self-aware social media poster. However, there is a family member on Facebook who posts her child-care needs at least once a week. She posts the day and time she needs and has said the names of the children who need a sitter. She has three children.
Her circumstance is difficult as she is going through a divorce. I am not particularly close with her, but not in a bad way.
I, too, have been a single mother and know how difficult it can be to find cheap, reliable childcare. There is part of me that wants to message her to tell her how unsafe it is to continually post when her children will be alone with a sitter, but I guess this is her business.
Annie, should I bring up my concerns with her?
— Worried for the Kids
Dear Worried for the Kids: She is a family member, and you are both single mothers. Yes, by all means bring up your concerns with her. Kids come first, and if you think that what she is doing is unsafe for them, then say something sooner rather than later.
Maybe even offer to help take care of her kids when she is in a pinch so that she is not so desperate to post it on social media. Perhaps you could offer her some of the ways you found a sitter without announcing it to everyone on social media.
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Dear Annie: I was fortunate to have found a wonderful quiet condo in a very expensive tourist town. Although I’m renting, I have done repairs and spent money on my new “home,” as I was planning to make this my last move. I’m 70.
Everything was great, including the semi-retired neighbors and the office and maintenance staff. It felt like a community. Then the elderly next-door neighbor moved and a young working lady moved in. The problem is that she is obese. Her footsteps can be heard and felt in my unit. She wakes between 4 and 5 a.m.
Because of the floor plan, our bedrooms and bathrooms are adjoining, and I am awakened when she gets up. I’ve left felt pads for her bathroom cabinets hoping that may be a hint, but it seems to have made it worse.
How do I tactfully tell her that I hear everything, including her bathroom use (even the vomiting … bulimia?) It’s not like a noisy neighbor with loud music.
I don’t want to move again, but I’m very stressed about this.
— Hearing Too Much
Dear Hearing Too Much: It is understandable that you are stressed out about this. Hearing someone going to the bathroom, no matter how much they weigh, is disgusting.
And that’s not something your new neighbor can help. It sounds like it could be a building issue and that the building is not properly soundproofed.
For the time being, invest in some good earplugs along with a sound machine. After that, speak with management and tell them what is going on.
Here’s hoping they will have a solution. If not, it might be time to pack up and move.
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— A native Californian, Annie Lane writes her Dear Annie advice columns from her home outside New York City, where she lives with her husband, two kids and two dogs. Her debut book, Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie, features favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette. Email your Dear Annie questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.