Dear Annie: I am recently engaged and very excited to plan my wedding with my fiancé. I am also excited to have my best friends stand by my side on my special day.
However, there has been a lot of stress when trying to determine who should be standing by me. For my fiancé, he already has his seven groomsmen picked out, and he doesn’t want to add any more, to avoid having too many people on the altar.
For me, I originally narrowed my bridal party to seven, which includes my best friends from each stage of life (elementary school, middle school, high school, college and medical school) in addition to my two sisters.
Two of my high school friends have recently asked me and the rest of my high school group (of four) to be in their bridal parties. We are the only ones in their parties. Since they asked me to be in their parties, I feel an obligation to include them in mine, but I don’t have enough room to fit them in my party.
My fiancé and I agreed to have seven in each of our parties — no more and no less. In addition, one of the girls in my high school friend group is currently in my bridal party since I am closest to her, but I don’t have room for the other two.
I don’t want to cause drama or hard feelings, but I also am happy with my current bridal party selection. What should I do?
— Something Blue
Dear Something Blue: If you are happy with your current bridal party and you and your fiancé already agreed to the number, then by all means keep it that way. While I applaud your consideration for your friends and your politeness in wanting to reciprocate by making them bridesmaids, you have to do what is best for you and your fiancé.
However, just because you don’t make your two friends bridesmaids doesn’t mean you can’t make them feel special at your wedding. Maybe they could participate in the wedding as a reader.
The most important thing is to communicate to them exactly what you communicated in your letter. Once they know how much you want them at your wedding, but you have two sisters and your best friends from each stage of life in the party, they will understand.
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
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Dear Annie: The letter from “What Did You Say” about background music on TV shows being too loud is so true!
My husband and I have lost count of how many shows or movies we don’t finish because the music drowns out the dialogue. I even thought of writing to the producers of the shows directly to see what their response would be and if it would help at all.
The investigative shows, such as 20/20 and 48 Hours, are among the worst offenders. No matter how interesting the previews sound, we don’t even bother trying to watch them anymore.
Unfortunately, my TV is not a 2020 model and does not have a “clear voice” audio setting, but I will definitely look for that option when it comes time to replace our television. Keep background music in the background.
— It’s Too Loud
Dear Too Loud: Thank you for sharing your experience with this issue, and by printing your letter, among others, you have written to the producers because they will no doubt be made aware of this problem.
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— A native Californian, Annie Lane writes her Dear Annie advice columns from her home outside New York City, where she lives with her husband, two kids and two dogs. Her debut book, Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie, features favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette. Email your Dear Annie questions to email@example.com. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.