Question from Christa
What should I do to make my boobs look bigger underneath my school shirt? And don’t just say you are perfect, don’t make your boobs bigger.
Should I put like some tissues or something in my bra? I don’t know.
I am going to advise against that. You answered the question in your directive to me, which is surely fueled by your belief that I don’t understand how much attention breasts receive. Of course I do.
I also know that you don’t necessarily want or need that kind of attention. Ask any woman with larger breasts. She will tell you her reality. They can be a distraction.
Yes, breasts do hold hypnotic powers over men. It’s wired into a straight man’s biological makeup. I get it. But large-breasted women often find it difficult to be taken seriously. They are not always certain why a guy is attracted to them, and they also experience discomfort during physical activity and and difficulty finding bras that don’t painfully dig into their backs and shoulders.
The size of your breasts does not define you. Larger breasts are not a fast track to anything worth having and they will not design your character. Rather, you need to do the hard work of creating your own sense of self. You want a guy who is mesmerized by who you actually are.
You are you. We all come in different shapes and sizes. Girls have been stuffing their bras since the invention of bras and the creation of Kleenex. So, do that if you wish. You can have plastic surgery one day to increase the size of your breasts.
You are going to ultimately do what you feel driven to do. However, my advice is that you cultivate relationships with people who fully appreciate that you are not your body. You are not the tissue enhanced illusion of bustiness. You are You.
(Danielle Mansutti video)
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Question from Annie
Soo, there is a boy. He is in my class. I don’t want to date him but I want him to like me back. Sometimes I think he likes me but sometimes not. He can be really nice, but sometimes he is a bad boy that I like.
I don’t know what to do. How can I know if he likes me back? What can I do?
This guy does not sound like he is boyfriend material so when you look at him that way, there is less at risk. Why not just have fun flirting with him? You can even say something like, “I think we like each other,” with a big smile. That will let you know if he likes you back.
School crushes are fun and they help you learn and understand what qualities are important to you in a romantic partner. But if this guy has “bad” tendencies, then be careful. Don’t play too closely with fire. Don’t you follow him down a dangerous path just to impress him. You are not going to change anyone. He is who you are seeing. Protect yourself and your heart.
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Question from Parker
How would I get a girl to like me? I’m nice, I’m funny, but every time I ask a girl out I get rejected.
Are you getting to know the girls first? To me, that is key. I know it’s tough for guys to feel like initiating a relationship is all on them. They have to do the asking and get rejected and it just does not seem at all fair, does it?
But, if you get to know a girl as a friend and you get to pay attention to the way she looks at you and recognize a look of romantic interest, you will know when it is safe to ask her out. Wait until you notice her walking toward you often, looking up to watch you come into a room, laughing at all your jokes, complimenting you, going out of her way to be around you, smiling when she hears your name, whispering to her friends when she sees you. That may not happen this week or this month, but if you are the guy you describe, trust me … it WILL happen. And when you notice it happening, that’s when it is safe to ask the girl out.
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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at email@example.com and it may be answered in a subsequent column.
— Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She also hosts a weekly video podcast called Things I Found Online, and teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.