It’s the ninth inning, two outs, the bases are loaded and Mike’s team is behind by three points as he steps up to the plate. In a matter of minutes he can be the game’s hero or be blamed for losing the game.
Have you ever felt that type of pressure in the game of life? We feel that way when our perception falls into “all or nothing” thinking. That is when we label others, ourselves and our experiences as “good or bad” and “wrong or right.” Such polarized thinking causes us to block our good and often prevents us from stepping up to our own plate.
Whether Mike has a great day and hits a homerun or strikes out, he’s the same person. He is not more or less of a person because of the outcome, but the same person with a new experience under his belt. However, he will feel miserable if he chooses to believe that the outcome makes him either “good or bad” or if he is ruled by the opinions of others.
Let’s face it. It feels great to win and help lead our team to success, and it feels horrible when we lose. But if Mike has a healthy sense-of-self he will know, regardless of the outcome, that he did the best he could in the moment. More than that, he’ll give himself credit for having had the courage to participate.
Sometimes we carry deeply ingrained feelings with us, often from our childhoods, that prevent us from fully participating in life. Have you passed up opportunities to step up to the plate in your life because of childish and fear-based feelings?
Ask yourself, what have you been avoiding? Then ask, why? When we sit on the sidelines of our life and watch it go by, we carry an emotional burden with us wherever we go. A life not lived with courage and action can lead to dread, anger, depression and sometimes despair.
What’s your Achilles’ heel — procrastination, all talk, not completing projects, fear of what others think, poor self-worth?
Do you make excuses such as not enough money, time, talent or energy? My lover, spouse, kids, parents need me too much. I’m not ready. Saying no can become habitual, but if the opportunity presents itself, guess what? You are ready.
Let go of the shackles of self-judgment and fire the overly dramatic internal critic. Just jump in and play the game — win or lose.
As an athlete trains to condition his or her body, so must we. More than desire is needed. It takes action. You need to pull out the old by the roots and courageously plant the seeds of change with care and commitment.
Then one day an opportunity will present itself. It will stare you in the face and say, “Come on. Out of the dugout.” What will you do?
You can analyze your past and your fears forever, or you can step up to the plate, swing the bat and bet on your future.
— Susan Ann Darley is a consultant and creativity coach for corporations and individuals. Click here for more information, or contact her at susan@mindsetmanagement.net or 805.845.3036. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.