You mean you waited until now to work up a good Halloween workout outfit? Try saying that 10 times quickly.
Why not go as a Perfect 10 — from the ‘80s or ‘90s, that is?! One benefit — you will not be tempted to eat too much Halloween candy if you are outfitted in spandex, lycra and other materials stretched tighter than plastic wrap on Halloween Rice Krispies marshmallow treats.
If you have access to shiny tights, leg warmers, full-bottomed leotards, or even better (worse?), thong leotards, twisted bandanna headbands, Flashdance sweatshirts with the neck and sleeve hems cut ragged, or T-shirts with strategic strips cut into them — why then, you are set to sweat and collect on full Halloween treats.
In case you do not own the above, do what we did and go to your local thrift store.
You can also do what we did and take all your pictures in the dressing room because of massive embarrassment from all the adoring stares we received from the homeless guys.
Hey, for less than $20 you can Sweat Back in Time and be popular.
We did, and discovered a few things:
» Such valuable fitness costume items may be available for purchase in October only. The thrift stores we went to all hold onto their “good” stuff until the first week of October, then present it as costumes. So shop while you can! You never know when you need a pair of bright pink exercise shorts.
» Some of the stuff we thought was “perfect,” meaning “hideous and dated and obviously an over-the-top costume,” turned out to look pretty darn good and au courant. How does that reflect on our taste? Yikes!
» Bargains do exist if you are willing to dig a little. By “dig” we mean “humiliate yourself in public.”
Dear Noozhawks and Noozdoves: Click here to check out all of our (un)fashionable photos. Vote for your favorite outfit, and we’ll consider actually buying it and wearing it in a future video. “Consider” is not the same as “promise.”