Making friends in school is every bit as important as getting good grades but can be a nerve-racking experience for some children. Here are some tips and ways that you can build your child’s confidence to make friends.
Watching Your Kids
Watching how your child socializes will help you find the root of what is keeping him or her from making friends. Your child may have anxiety in large groups of people or have a tough time thinking of how to initiate a conversation with other children.
Take your child to a park, a school activity or sport and watch how your child interacts with other children. Being a “fly on the wall” can help you see what skills your child lacks and what he or she may be doing wrong. This could be the best way to diagnose the problem and know what skills your child will need help building.
Role Play at Home
Your child might find it difficult starting a conversation with other children. They may be overthinking how to start the conversation. Role playing at home can help your child with initiating conversations.
Sit down with your child and discuss topics that interest them and would like to start a conversation with. Practice initiating the conversation and discussing the topics until your child feels comfortable.
Play dates are another way your child can get practice socializing. Try setting up play dates with children your child is comfortable around to practice the conversation topics you role played at home. Watch how your child socializes and focus on whether the other child is having fun with your child. Discuss what you saw with your child after the play date and how they felt discussing the topics he or she created.
Be a Social Coach
When an athlete in a sport finds a task, position or skill difficult, they don’t push the problem to the side or avoid it. The athlete continues to practice the skill until they get it right and it comes naturally. Help your child see socializing the same way an athlete sees that skill, and help your child build and strengthen that skill.
Do not avoid the problem because your child is having a difficult time. Help them understand that it is important to know how to build relationships. Learning to build friendships when they are young will help them down the road.
Be Supportive and Offer Praise
Your child may find making friends to be scary and nerve-racking. Making friends is not easy for everyone.
Do not compare your child to siblings who may find making friends and socializing easy. Your child may be looking for a couple of really good friendships rather than having many casual friends.
Everyone is different. Remember that your child may have different social limits than their siblings.
Their happiness is what’s most important. Praise and support your child for every accomplishment they make, and make sure they know that you are there to help them.