I’ve been out of town. What’d I miss?

Usually, when I say I’m going out of town, I’m probably just going to Los Alamos.

This time, I got on an airplane and everything, and went on a bona fide vacation with my entire family — infant grandson included.

It rained a lot, and I mean a lot, but it was still relaxing and good to get away. Plus, the Los Angeles Dodgers have been on an absolute tear in my absence.

There’s no place like home, however, and it’s even better to be back in Santa Barbara. Noozhawk’s autumn plans are quite ambitious, and you’ll begin getting a glimpse of what we’re up to starting next week.

In the meantime, according to Google Analytics’ convoluted new GA4 tracking, Noozhawk apparently had an audience of just 77,215 readers this past week.

Like most other Google Analytics users, I’m not sure I believe that, but Google’s gonna Google.

What follows is my recap of the Top Five most-read stories over the past seven days. As a reminder, this is my opinion column, not a news story.

1. 1 Dead, 4 Injured in Collision on Southbound Highway 101 in Montecito

A 77-year-old Santa Paula man has been identified as the dead victim in a suspected DUI collision on Highway 101 in Montecito in the early morning hours of Aug. 13.

According to the California Highway Patrol, a 22-year-old Port Hueneme woman was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI in the case.

As our Tom Bolton first reported, two vehicles collided around 3 a.m. on the southbound freeway just before the Olive Mill Road exit ramp, where the three-lane highway merges into two lanes and curves to the left.

Authorities say the impact propelled a Mercury Mountaineer SUV down the embankment on the right side of the exit ramp, which turns into Spring Road before intersecting with Olive Mill Road.

CHP Officer Michael Fabila said a passenger in the Mountaineer — later identified as Louis Hernandez Jr. — suffered fatal injuries when he was ejected from the vehicle.

The Mountaineer’s driver, identified as 67-year-old Virginia Montelongo of Santa Paula, had to be extricated from the wreckage by Montecito Fire Protection District firefighters.

She was taken by American Medical Response ambulance to Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital for treatment of moderate injuries.

Fabila said three women in the other vehicle, a Toyota Camry sedan, suffered minor injuries.

He said the Camry driver, identified as Ricki Newton, was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI and vehicular manslaughter, and booked into Santa Barbara County Jail.

The CHP is investigating the circumstances of the collision.

2. CHP Officers Nab Exotic-Car Drivers for Speeding on Highways 101, 154

Ever since that Lamborghini driver was clocked doing 152 mph in the Santa Ynez Valley a few months ago, our Janene Scully has been in pursuit of another high-speed story.

A new series of citations was just the ticket for her.

After receiving multiple reports of distinctive sports cars speeding through the valley on Aug. 16, California Highway Patrol officers — working with air support — conducted numerous traffic enforcement stops on Highways 101 and 154.

As of midafternoon, Officer Michael Griffith told Janene, seven citations had been issued for excessive speed by idiots driving Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Porsches and other expensive exotic cars.

How high? More than 90 mph, he replied.

At least one driver also was ticketed for reckless driving.

“We kind of got a tip-off they would be heading this way,” Griffith said.

As of late afternoon Aug. 17, this story wasn’t even on my Top 5 radar, but a late burst of traffic sent it racing up the analytics until it ran out of gas at No. 2 just before midnight.

3. Santa Barbara Planning Commission Gives Green Light to 63-Unit Housing Project on West Carrillo Street

The Housing Authority of the City of Santa Barbara has secured critical approval from the Planning Commission for a unique housing project near downtown.

As our Josh Molina reported, the four-story, 63-unit development is proposed for a 1.3-acre parcel at 400 W. Carrillo St. It includes five two-bedroom apartments, 39 one-bedroom units and 19 studios.

Currently the home of one of the city’s commuter parking lots, the site is sandwiched between Castillo Street and Mission Creek and a northbound Highway 101 entrance ramp.

Housing Authority officials say the project’s apartments will be 100% rent-restricted, and offered to moderate-income families earning between 80% and 120% of the area median income and middle-income renters earning between 120% and 160% of the AMI.

Unlike typical low-income housing, the project is intended to assist those earning too much for such support but not enough to afford a home loan.

The commission vote was a unanimous 6-0, with commissioner Devon Wardlow absent.

“We haven’t had any negative comments on this project from any community member,” commissioner Lesley Wiscomb said, “and that’s really rare.”

4. Santa Barbara Talks: Foul Ball Tragedy at Dodger Stadium Sparks Compelling Memoir by Goleta Woman

Our Josh Molina is an outstanding interviewer, which is one of the reasons behind the popularity of his Santa Barbara Talks podcast posted each week on Noozhawk.

Goleta artist Jana Brody was a recent guest and, although the news angle was her newly published book about a devastating family tragedy, I was impressed — again — by Josh’s ability to just let her share her story, which is as relatable as it is heartbreaking.

Brody’s mom, Linda Goldbloom, was struck in the head by a foul ball at Dodger Stadium in 2018 and died a few hours later from the traumatic injury.

Her book, Sit Behind The Nets!, tells the story of the family’s quest for answers and recognition that greater fan safety measures are needed at Major League Baseball stadiums. Although Goldbloom is rarely acknowledged by MLB as a catalyst, many such improvements already have been made as a result of her death.

But listen to the interview for yourself. Brody has a powerful message, and her matter-of-fact way of telling it makes it all the more compelling. And Josh deftly guides the conversation along.

5. Scammers Add Risk to Already Difficult Rental Housing Search in Santa Barbara County

“Accommodation scams” are a growing menace locally, driving up anxiety while exacerbating Santa Barbara County’s already tight rental housing market.

Our Rebecca Caraway, who just went through a housing search herself as a freshly graduated Cal Poly alumna with a brand-new job at Noozhawk, took a deeper look at the scam schemes and put together a well-written report on the problem.

As Rebecca outlined, prospective tenants are targeted by people posing as landlords offering accommodations that may be misleading, outright fraudulent — or that don’t even exist.

Bogus websites and social media often are their preferred hunting grounds.

Erin Eliza, an actual Isla Vista landlord, is the administrator of the “Girls Isla Vista Housing” Facebook group, which she created to try to connect with potential tenants in a fraud-free environment.

It’s a never-ending battle to keep the scammers out, though.

Several times a day she reviews member requests, deletes posts about properties the poster doesn’t actually own, and messages group members who she fears might be talking to a con artist.

She told Rebecca that scammers typically try to take someone’s application fee or deposit, which can have catastrophic consequences. 

“These are really not victimless crimes,” she said. “These housing scams can start a spiral where people become homeless.”

Santa Barbara County Deputy District Attorney Chris Dalbey told Rebecca that a common racket is for scammers to post photos of a house or an apartment they pretend to own but really don’t.

“They might be in England, they might be in Kentucky, they might be here in Santa Barbara” he said. “We just have no idea.”

Dalbey encouraged scam victims to report their encounters to local law enforcement.

Rebecca does a far better job than I of raising awareness of these scam artists and their fake-tivities. Check out her story before you put down a deposit on that affordable new apartment that sounds too good to be true.

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Good Reads

Don’t miss these six stories before you go:

» Westside Pilot Program Soon Will Open Outdoor Spaces at Select School Campuses to Community — When not in session, public school campuses have got to be among the biggest wastes of space around. Staff writer Rebecca Caraway reports on a relaxation of the Santa Barbara Unified School District’s No Trespassing policy that will benefit open space-starved Westside residents.

» BizHawk: Corner Market The Eddy Is Ready in Downtown Santa Barbara — Staff writer Josh Molina stops in at The Eddy, an eclectic new corner store in downtown Santa Barbara.

» How People Can Help Maui Wildfire Victims — Rebecca has the latest information on how you can help our friends in Maui and elsewhere in Hawai‘i.

» Santa Ynez Valley High School Interim Principal Meets Parents, Community — North County editor Janene Scully drops by Santa Ynez Valley Union High School to meet the beleaguered school’s latest leader, interim Principal Mitch Torina.

» Patricia Bragg, Longtime Businesswoman and Health Foods Guru, Dies in Goleta at 94 — Patricia Bragg, known as much for her bright pink outfits as her ubiquitous apple cider vinegar, was a delight to talk to as an entrepreneur and I always respected her relentless marketing of the Bragg brand. Josh writes her obituary.

» Noozhawk’s List of Prep Football Players to Watch This Season — Sports editor Barry Punzal and sports writer Diego Sandoval have been busy previewing high school football programs, and they wrap it up with their picks of players to watch this fall. Push comes to shove beginning Aug. 18 when the 2023 season kicks off.

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Last Year on Noozhawk

What was our most-read story this time last year? Santa Barbara City Attorney Ariel Calonne Placed on Administrative Leave by City Council.

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Bill Macfadyen’s Story of the Week

If this can happen to whales off the New Jersey shore, are we sure it won’t be happening to whales along the Central Coast? The Biggest Environmental Scandal in the World.

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Here’s What I’m Up To

• Aug. 31 — I’ll be speaking to Dan Lane’s “News, Politics & Democracy” class at UCSB. We’ll be discussing Noozhawk’s origins, evolution and future, as well as journalism’s overall role in our country and culture.

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Best of Bill’s Instagram

I was on vacation this past week, but my Instagram feed wasn’t.

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Watch It

Best of Bill reader Trey Belden could not bear to let fellow reader Kristin Castle have the last splash so he’s swinging our attention in a different direction.