Social media is filled with tales of bridezillas gone wild. That doesn’t have to be you. Stay calm and remember your wedding is a celebration. Follow these simple rules of etiquette.
Consider the Members of Your Wedding Party
Particularly when it comes to the attire, keep the comfort of your wedding party in mind. If you allow them to choose their own outfits, keep your suggestions and comments kind and remember most of the eyes will be on the happy couple.
Also remember to properly thank the officiant and offer an appropriate fee in a sealed envelope along with a handwritten note of thanks from you and your spouse.
Invitations
Allow plenty of time to address, assemble and mail your invitations. Try to develop a system to make sure each invitation gets sent on time, and don’t be afraid to ask friends and family to help. Include registry information and any other appropriate inserts, such as maps or directions or hotel information.
If you don’t want children to attend, do not put “no children” or “adults only.” Instead, address it to who is invited. An invitation sent to Mr. and Mrs. Jones includes only Mr. and Mrs. Jones, not their children.
If children are welcomed, they’ll be mentioned individually or the Jones family would be the addressee.
Gifts
There are a lot of rules surrounding wedding gifts. The late Emily Post, an etiquette expert, says the prohibition against asking people not to bring gifts in fact puts an emphasis on gifts.
Remember that friends and family who have attended a first wedding and given a gift are under no obligation to give another wedding gift to the same person, even if the new marriage is to a different person.
Instead of including the disclaimer on the invitations, Post says to take care of such a request personally. It should come from the couple or close friends and family.
Send Thank-You’s
Weddings are one of the biggest events in someone’s life. Don’t forget to thank the people who supported you with their presence or their gifts. Emily Post says the couple should personalize thank-you notes and reference both the gift and the giver. Be enthusiastic, but don’t gush.
When it Comes to Guests
If guests RSVP with children written in, have the wedding host call and explain if children are not invited. Post advises to stay strong, but be clear. Making exceptions isn’t fair to other guests who found childcare for the duration of the event.