God never asks us to do anything that He hasn’t equipped us for.

I’ve known this theoretically for decades but had never been tested on it until my wife got sick — then the tests came in successive tidal waves.

At first, I wasn’t up to the task, though I had been a believer for a long time. I needed a faith reboot and got one just in time.

This promise — from Hebrews 4:14-16 — came alive to me:

“Now that we know what we have — Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God — let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all — all but the sin. So, let’s walk right up to Him and get what He is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.”

My Faith Rebooted

In a 2018 essay, I wrote:

“When I started out in my fledgling caregiving ‘career,’ I approached it just like any other challenging project. After all, I’m an engineer, a problem-solver — ‘let’s just do it.’

‘Trouble is, I was turning my precious wife into a project, a problem to be solved, a challenge to overcome. That necessarily required an arms-length, dispassionate approach to go through ‘the steps’ and work ‘according to plan.’

‘One particularly difficult day, my wife made one-too-many demands on me, and I marched into the bedroom in one of my usual self-pitying huffs, and then, a funny thing happened. God reached down through my heavy-handed control trip and opened my heart where only my head had formerly been engaged.

‘I’m not talking about hearing an audible voice, more like a strong impression. Let me paraphrase:

‘Hey Don. God here.

‘That girl lying helplessly on the bed is one of my very favorite daughters.

‘She can’t help what is happening to her.

‘I entrusted her to you, beginning 30 years ago in marriage, and now in her illness.

‘You have much growing to do through this. It’s your turn in the fire.

‘Annie is not a project or a problem. She’s a privilege. A sacred trust.

‘While you’ve been racing off to your next ‘ministry activity’ at the Rescue Mission, she’s been crying out for you. But all you’ve seen is someone in the way, preventing you from doing My supposed will.

‘But your wife is My will for you. I can make the stones write articles and minister to addicts. But only you can be my arms to hold her, my voice to comfort her, my heart to love her.

‘Now go. Do well, my son.’”

God’s exclusive brand of wisdom, forged from a unique alloy of agony and ecstasy, was beginning to dawn. And yes, joy followed.

King David once said, “Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.” I can identify.

I’m Catching On

In a single stroke, God fulfilled an ancient prophecy in me: “I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

He had entrusted a priceless Stradivarius (her) to this gorilla (me) and tamed the beast just in time. Genius!

How About You?

Have you been dealing with something over your head? Doing it all yourself? How’s that been working out?

Our problem of course is pride. It hurts to admit you can’t “handle it,” and your flesh fights the whole concept of humility tooth and nail.

Instead surrender — turn yourself in — bathe yourself in His grace, which surpasses all understanding.

Funny Thing

She’ll never again be a project with me,
Thirty-six years married and still in love.
Yes, I am often sorely tempted to flee,
When things get tough, I want to shove.

But then I recall the commitment I made,
Before God, a solemn oath I swore.
“Please give me the strength” I prayed,
“Let her never become another chore.”

You have loaned her as a sacred trust,
She belongs to you, not me, dear God.
I don’t want to fail you, yet I am but dust,
Having feet of clay and fatally flawed.

So here I am, guns down and hands up,
Surrendered and bent over, yet still not broken.
God, please finish your good work, fill my cup,
Until at last, for your home, I am housebroken.

4-1-1

Click here for a fascinating AI-generated audio overview of this essay.