There are plenty of creepy crawlies that send chills up the spines of Santa Barbara homeowners.

Wasps nests in the eaves; black widow spiders in the garage (I always inspect any old shoes left out there before stepping into them); hairy tarantulas, especially if you live in the North County; and, of course, ants — lots and lots of ants.

(Aacck! An ant just crawled over my laptop screen as I am writing this column.)

While ants may be annoying, the three words no one wants to hear are: “You’ve got termites!”

My daughter Elizabeth made the terrible termite discovery recently when my husband and I were out of town, and she was staying at our house in Santa Barbara.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news …,” Elizabeth said, and then she sent us a text message with a photo of bright blue painter’s tape encircling a pinhole in the hardwood floor by our front door.

Within the borders of the tape were the telltale droppings of termites. Gross!

This is not our first rodeo with the wood-eating insects, but in the past we’ve been able to deal with them using spot extermination treatments.

This time was different. Subterranean termites (allegedly the worst kind) were invading — and devouring — our space.

To get an idea of the yuckiness factor, I turned to pestworld.org (the website of the nonprofit National Pest Management Association), which is “committed to the protection of public health, food and property,” and learned this:

“Subterranean termites can cause the most damage of any termite species. These termites build distinctive tunnels, often referred to as ‘mud tubes,’ to reach food sources and protect themselves from open air. They eat wood 24 hours a day, seven days a week, using their saw-toothed jaws to bite off small fragments of wood one piece at a time.

“Over time, subterranean termites can critically damage a building structure, sometimes causing a total collapse. Subterranean termites threaten homeowners across the country, as they’re found in every state in the U.S except Alaska.”

Following an inspection by a local/national exterminator, we were told we definitely had the “bad” termites, and wood rot in some parts of the house, so repair work would be necessary on top of the unavoidable tenting process.

Full disclosure: During the 20-plus years we have lived in our home, it has never been tented — not even before we moved in. Don’t ask me why. So, it was no great surprise that time and termites finally caught up with us.

So, for all of you pragmatists who understand that it is a matter of when — not if — you, too, will need to have your house tented, I’ll share a little of our experience.

In advance of the ordeal, we pretty much stuck to the pest control company’s instructions, but for some things, such as what to remove from the house, it all comes down to your personal level of paranoia.

What Goes and What Stays?

Any kind of food that is not sealed in its original packaging has to be removed from the premises. Unopened jars or cans “with the original manufacturer’s airtight seal intact” can stay. We boxed those things up anyway and put them in our neighbors’ garage — just because.

Pasta, bread, cookies, crackers — anything in plastic, paper or cardboard packaging is vulnerable, so out they go. Don’t forget to stash bagged pet food somewhere safe, and get your indoor plants out of harm’s way.

As a rule of thumb: A couple of weeks before tenting, try to consume as much of the food in your refrigerator and freezer as you can. (No Costco shopping!)

If you can’t eat it all without gaining a ton of weight, and if you don’t want to throw things out, find a friend or two who have room in their fridge and/or freezer and don’t mind babysitting your stuff for a few days.

Another option we were offered but did not take advantage of was to get special Nylofme bags (provided by the pest control company) that are designed to protect unsealed food and medications that remain in the house.

On the OK-to-leave-behind list are most dental hygiene items such as toothpaste, mouthwash and whitening products (probably not your toothbrushes); cosmetics (even lipstick); shampoo; soap; and lotions. Skeptic that I am, I boxed up those things, too, and gave them to a friend.

For pretty much everything else — clothes, bedding and other linens, curtains, books, kitchenware — if it can’t be ingested, it can remain in the house.

So, What Is This Scary Stuff Used to Get Rid of Termites?

Our exterminator used something called Vikane Gas Fumigant (chemical name sulfuryl fluoride) from Douglas Products.

Sulfuryl fluoride, according to Douglas Products’ fact sheet, is a gas with potential health risks if inhaled, particularly in high concentrations or from overexposure.

“Sulfuryl fluoride … can potentially enter your body only through inhalation,” the company states. “Because it is a gas, it does not stay on dry surfaces; therefore, there is no exposure from touching treated surfaces.”

Sounds like what we have learned about the COVID-19 virus, after months/years of wearing surgical gloves and scrubbing down everything from shopping carts to TV remotes to ballpoint pens with alcohol-based wipes.

That said (cue my paranoia level here), when we got back home, I diligently cleaned all of my kitchen and bathroom counters, tables, dresser tops, shelves — essentially anything flat — with wet wipes.

Under the Tent

The humongous green-and-yellow-striped tent (that is put up in an Olympic-contending time of about 90 minutes) seals in the lethal gas, so it can penetrate the entire house, stopping those tenacious termites in their tracks. Think “RAID!”

The colorful canvas, and a giant warning sign posted in front of the house, serve to alert anyone stupid enough to try to sneak under the big top during the fumigation process that it’s not a good idea.

If that is not enough of a deterrent, and because sulfuryl fluoride is a colorless, odorless gas, a warning agent that causes watery eyes and sore throat is added to the gas.

In other words — “Stay Out, No Trespassing!”

The tenting process required us to be out of our house for about three days, and while we had offers to stay at friends’ homes, we decided to make lemonade out of lemons and take a staycation — at the nearby Lemon Tree Inn, where I was happy lounging by the pool reading a book, and getting up occasionally to take a dip and cool off.

A couple of days later, we were back home and things look pretty much the same as when we left.

The main victims (other than the termites) seem to be the outdoor plants around the perimeter of the house. Pre-tenting instructions say to thoroughly water those areas a couple of days before fumigation, which we did, but much of that now-brown greenery looks to be collateral damage.

Time to buy new plants.

My only other complaint: Despite all that toxic gas — the ants are back! Aacck!