A gentle man and a gentleman, Tom Banks Carvey Jr. was known to his many friends, co-workers and family for his captivating, beating sense of humor and easy laugh, but was humble and expressed love and kindness. He is missed!
Tom was born April 12, 1922, in Fort Worth, Texas, to Tom Banks Carvey (a first-generation Austria-Hungary immigrant) and Florence Haney Carvey.
Tom passed away Jan. 8, 2026, with his wife of 52 years Donna Gayle by his side, at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital from complications of a fractured hip.
His father’s occupation took them to Nashville, Tennessee, where he was introduced to golf by the Scottish golf pro at age two, who then made him a set of clubs when Tom was five years old. Tom continued to play and love the game throughout life.
His family returned to Fort Worth when Tom was six years old with his baby sister Jane. He lived there until he graduated from Paschal High School when he received acceptance to Stanford University at the young age of 17.
Along with academics, Tom’s dorm room was a frequent gathering for students as he shared his love for music and his extensive jazz record collection. He also held various jobs, fellowship, and volunteered as the Stanford Cardinals’ football manager (Rose Bowl during his senior year).
Tom did receive his lowest grade while at Stanford, a ‘C’ in golf! He graduated with an AB in mechanical engineering magna cum laude, class of 1943, and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and Tau Beta Pi honorary societies. Later, he became a graduate of the UCLA Executive Management program.
Tom joined the U.S. Navy as a junior officer. During training for his initial assignment, he worked in the early days of the jet propulsion era at Pratt & Whitney, and on weekends was able to take the train to New York City to enjoy the big city jazz clubs.
Assigned to the West Coast to be a part of commissioning an escort carrier aboard the USS Shipley Bay in Astoria, Oregon, he served as a catapult and arresting gear officer in the Pacific Theater.
Navy tradition holds that when a sailor crosses the equator for the first time, he has to endure a hazing-type rite of passage. It was during this tradition (for another sailor) that Tom was blasted by a fire hose to his head and damaged an eardrum. Tom’s military career changed course, and because of his technical training he was re-assigned to the Navy’s Bureau of Aeronautics in Washington, D.C.
His first marriage, to Dorothea Crile in Pasadena, California, took place, and then they headed by train to D.C. and the new assignment.
At the conclusion of World War II, Lt. Tom Carvey, Dorothea, and his first son moved to Southern California.
In 1948 Tom began his esteemed 40-year career at Hughes Aircraft. In the early days, he worked in line management for rocket motors for Falson & Tow, a Hughes subcontractor and deeply involved as manager in propulsion power systems and guided missiles.
Moving into space technology in the 1960s, Tom’s focus was primarily space power devices and NASA’s Surveyor lunar program. The Surveyor program sent seven robotic spacecrafts to demonstrate the feasibility of soft landings on the lunar surface.
The Hughes Aircraft Space and Communications Group was formed in 1970, and Tom was on board as director of Materiel and Administration.
His expertise was also valued as a manager, with Hughes as prime contractor, for NASA’s Syncom, Early Bird, Intelsat IV, and other application technology satellites; then in the 1970s-80s, with the Hughes c geosynchronous orbit satellite program.
Before his retirement as vice president, he was corporate spokesman on business ethics. He continued his advocacy for ethics, women’s equality and civil rights.
Tom was one of the few people who could instantly bond with anyone, regardless of who they were or their personal background.
At Hughes, he helped open opportunities and hired the first Black engineer. He took risks to uplift women and minorities during an era when doing so was an act of moral courage.
Now having a family with four boys, Tom enjoyed community activities, fishing, hiking and camping.
In addition, he was chairman of Coordinating Councils, president of Great Books in Palos Verdes where he lived, YMCA Board, L.A. Executive Council, and volunteered for local and statewide Democratic political activities.
During this time, his first marriage ended in divorce. Tom became active with the California Democratic Committee and served two terms as its third president, 1961-65.
He served as California delegate to the Democratic National Conventions, 1956-68, maintaining close contacts and interaction with four U.S. presidents throughout his political career, then serving Congressman Glenn Anderson as emcee for many of his functions.
Tom was driven by an unshakeable belief in integrity and equality. These were not just political stances but the enduring ethical compass that guided his entire life.
Marriage in 1973 to Donna Gayle Killough in Sun Valley, Idaho, and living in Pacific Palisades, California, Tom began a love of recreational downhill skiing, primarily focused in Sun Valley and Europe.
Moving to Santa Barbara in 1988 provided a new style of living and easier access to golf. Tom was a member and participant of the Santa Barbara Channel City Club and Birnam Wood Golf Club (35 years), playing team golf, and regularly scoring under his age.
Tom aided Donna in her community activities, often an active participant with Montecito Association and the Santa Barbara Art Museum. He attended local plays, musical theater, and the opera.
Tom enjoyed the great outdoors as reflected in his love for the mountains and the variety of sports available in Sun Valley, all leading to maintaining a second home in the Sun Valley area since 1984.
They enjoy their time together, relaxing at home, being outdoors, and with friends. Whether for work, play, or adventure, they traveled extensively, Hawaii and France being favorites, returning many times.
Tom was a trailblazer, dedicating his life to dismantling barriers for others and fighting for justice with conviction that was decades ahead of his time.
With six children, family was a strong element in Tom’s life.
He is survived by his wife Donna Gayle; sister Jane Taylor of Santa Fe, New Mexico; children Tom B. Carvey III (Susan), Crile Carvey (Laora), Geoffery Webb Carvey (Kristin), Christopher (Buddy) Dennis Carvey (Alisa), Bradley “Scott” Tabor, and Denise Carvey Hill.
Additionally, he has 14 grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren, three great-great-grandchildren, and multiple nieces and nephews.
Please consider donating to Friendship Center Adult Day Services, 89 Eucalyptus Lane, Santa Barbara, CA 93108, as they were a wonderful part of socialization and caring during the last few years of his life.