Completing an Advance Directive with elderly parents can be a difficult process for anyone. It is often a balance of both listening and giving guidance, and can often bring up unexpected emotions and questions.
If you have a Spanish-speaking parent, you may encounter a whole new set of challenges when trying to motivate them to make end-of-life plans.
In our work with the Latino community in Santa Barbara, we have encountered many adult children who are unsure of how to broach the topic of Advance Care Planning (ACP) with their Spanish-speaking parents.
Elderly parents’ fear, religious and cultural values, lack of knowledge on the topic, and distrust of the healthcare system can make completing an Advance Directive seem impossible. There may also be pressure that comes from choosing among family members who would carry out those decisions on the parents’ behalf.
So, how can you encourage your Spanish-speaking parent to complete their Advance Directive?
Frame their Advance Directive as a way of taking care of their family
It is helpful to frame the document as “un regalo de amor” – a gift of love – for the whole family. It is distressing to make healthcare decisions for someone when you don’t know what they would’ve wanted. By completing an Advance Directive, your parents can remove the burden of decision making from loved ones and prevent potential conflict between family members.
Listen to and address their fears around death
While you may not share their concerns, it is important to actively listen to what may scare your parents about death and Advance Care Planning. To the best of your ability, dispel and address their fears where appropriate. Own your personal fears and acknowledge them as being an obstacle if needed. Having honest conversations about dying is the first step in making ACP decisions, and normalizes this topic for the future.
Emphasize that their wishes are the most important
Elderly Latino parents may want to defer any medical decisions to their children when the time comes, but emphasize that they are in the driver’s seat when it comes to their wishes. Empower them to define what their ideal quality of life is and stress that they have the final say in their Advance Directive. This can also be an opportunity to discuss deeper fears like if they believe their faith or cultural values would not be respected in the hospital.
Approach the Advance Directive as a “life” document rather than a “death” document
Advance Directives are not just for people who are in their final stages of life; it’s a tool that helps plan for an emergency that may happen months, years, or decades in the future. Impart to your parents that this is a living document that can be updated if their wishes change and represents an important, precautionary step for anyone to have peace of mind about their medical care.
Interested in helping a Spanish-speaking loved one or parent complete an Advance Directive this year?
Mi Regalo, a Spanish counterpart of Get It Done SB, provides free ACP services throughout South Santa Barbara County in Spanish for families looking to complete their Advance Directives. Our goal is to help our community participate in conversations regarding their future medical care with their loved ones and feel more empowered to make healthcare decisions TODAY, while they are still healthy.
Give the ultimate gift of love to your family at our next two-part Spanish workshop with Sansum Clinic on September 4th 4:00-5:00 pm and September 11th 3:30-5:00 pm. The workshop will be hosted in the Lovelace Conference Room at Ridley-Tree Cancer Center, 400 W. Pueblo St. You do not need to be a Sansum patient to attend!
RSVP by calling (805)-456-4665, emailing CommunityACP@hospiceofsb.org, or visit https://www.miregalo.org/asista-a-nuestro-taller-con-sansum.