Z: With all the marathon-a-thons out there — bike-a-thons, eat-a-thons, sleep-a-thons, move-a-thons, math-a-thons, beard-a-thons, read-a-thons, walk-a-thons, even a Butt-Numb-A-Thon in Texas — it was nice to get back to the basic jog-a-thon.
She: Koss had never done a jog-a-thon before this. Poor deprived kid. His school used to do a kind of a field-day-a-thon fundraiser, but this is his first real jog-a-thon.
Z: I never did a jog-a-thon when I was a kid. I was in a swim-a-thon once, and a dance-a-thon — but never the basic jog fest.
She: I remember doing a walk-a-thon, but I can’t remember if I was really supposed to be running.
Z: Story of my life.
She: For some of these kids it was a sprint-a-thon and for some it was a skip-a-thon. But since I was running the snack table, my favorites were the kids who made it into an orange-eating-a-thon.
Z: Did you make them sing Justin Bieber songs for their oranges, like our friend Tisha did?
She: Beethoven. I got a lot of blank stares.
Z: Story of my life.
She: And they had to dance for the bananas.
Z: My problem with the –a-thons is the whole pledge-per-lap thing. What if you pledge a dollar a lap for some kid who then goes out and jogs a world record 10,000 laps? You’re out ten grand, and the kid is going to need knee surgery
She: There’s no way anyone who shares my DNA is going to run 10,000 laps.
Z: Ah, that’s if a lap is really a lap. But what if they mess with you and it turns out a lap is just once around that big tree in the middle of the field? You’ve got to read the fine print on those pledge forms.
She: I don’t think they’re trying to con you with these fundraisers. Suck you dry maybe, but not con you. They usually let you sponsor a set amount, or a maximum number of laps, which I don’t remember from when I was a kid.
Z: That seems like it kills the motivation. I want a little blood and sweat out there. I want to see that kid do the 10,000 laps and get the knee surgery. That shows commitment.
She: Which is why I was happy to see Koss’ school set a time limit for the jog-a-thon. That way, the kids couldn’t hurt themselves, and the pledges wouldn’t get out of hand.
Z: I liked to see the varying levels of motivation in the runners. Some of the kids were in it for the win. They barely even slowed down to make sure their laps were getting counted, and kept that in-the-zone expression on their face so that no energy was wasted.
She: My favorites were the kindergarteners, who stopped for water every single time they went around.
Z: I liked the kids who would bounce around to the music while they ran, who spent just as much time smiling and waving as they did running.
She: I also liked the big and little buddy thing, where they came out and cheered each other on.
Z: Easiest teaching day ever!
She: I don’t know. Some of those teachers were out there sweating with the kids.
Z: That didn’t stop one kid from checking in at every counting station instead of just his own, so that his card said he did 80 laps instead of 20. Very creative.
She: That’s not creative. That’s cheating.
Z: Creatively. Besides, I didn’t pledge any money for him, so I’m not out anything extra. I didn’t even pledge anything for our kid.
She: Actually he needed a few more sponsors so I forged your pledge to go along with mine. Don’t worry, it was less than we owe in income taxes.
Z: Yes, dear.
— Share your og-a-thon tips by emailing leslie@lesliedinaberg.com. Follow Leslie Dinaberg on Twitter.