Dear Feelings Doctor: I am a 65-year-old single guy in great shape with a passion for living a fun, happy life. I am searching for the woman of my dreams — again. Is there something else I should be doing instead of going to nightclubs to meet my Princess Charming? Thanks.

— Ron, Santa Monica

Dear Ron: It sounds like you really know how to enjoy things in life that bring you happiness. While going to nightclubs and bars can be fun sometimes, try shaking it up in a different direction with a yoga class or meditation retreat. How about a coed cooking class, or a mixed hiking or biking club? It may sound a bit tame for you at first, so be patient with yourself, settle in and “see what’s inside” for you next. Princess Charming could be right around the corner.

Dear Feelings Doctor: My wife and I are getting divorced. We have four teenage children. My wife left for an adulterous relationship. I am wondering how much I should disclose to the children about what went on. Thanks.

— Wondering, Washington, D.C.

Dear Wondering: Divorce is a heavy ordeal to go through for everyone, even teenagers. Ask yourself what information you feel will help you and your children get through this time with as much love and understanding as possible. The things that you and your wife are going through, only the two of you can truly relate to, and perhaps certain details should remain private. Putting children in the middle is a rough place to be, no matter what age.

You two will forever share the greatest gifts together: your four children. Finding a way to continue to celebrate those lasting treasures will make everyone’s life more beautiful. Good luck and blessings to you all.

Dear Feelings Doctor: My husband and I have busy lives with two young children. I try to raise them the best that I can while he is working all day. We argue in front of them too much, and he talks down to me where they can hear everything — telling me that I am a bad mother, making me feel unimportant. I do feel like a bad mother. What can I do?

— Melinda, Ventura

Dear Melinda: When the elephants fight, the grass suffers — your children are the grass. Being mindful of our words is so important when little ears are around. Having disagreements is a normal part of any relationship, but this sounds like more than that. Poor listening is the cause of communication breakdowns in every area of life. For your family’s sake, focus on getting help with some tools for communicating in a less hostile way immediately. There are several books available on how to talk so people will listen, and how to listen so people will talk. Keep in touch with me and let me know how things progress.

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OK, here’s the deal. I have a challenge for all of us! This is the chance for you to share, give, send, write or perform your very own random act of kindness. I challenge you to “step up and step out!” Make someone feel honored and special today, this week or this month. Believe it or not, the tiniest gesture can make the biggest impact on another person. It also creates new, healthy habits for those who do it. So, go spread some kindness, and let me know how you feel about it. Yes you, yes now.

Bliss and blessings …

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— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.