Dear Feelings Doctor: I just turned 60, and I am wondering how to stay fit and exercise in a way that won’t hurt me. Thank you.
— Kathy in Santa Barbara
Dear Kathy: There are several fun things that will keep you moving safely that are less strenuous than other exercise routines. As long as you have no major injuries, you should be fine. Please check with your doctor and get the go-ahead just to be sure.
Walking daily is actually just as beneficial as jogging and more enjoyable for those who want to see the sights and smell the roses along the way. Light weightlifting to maintain some muscle mass is also a good idea, and will keep your core strong and aligned as things change. Dancing, biking and warm yoga classes are also low-impact workouts that may be to your liking. Begin with a trainer to make sure you are doing all the movements and exercises properly; good form will last forever. And have fun!
Dear Feelings Doctor: I am a new mom, and my husband and I seem to be on totally different pages. I cannot do all the new things I need to do without his help. We seem to be arguing more now that our angel is here. It feels wrong when we should be happier than ever. Please help us.
— Sara in San Francisco
Dear Sara: You are not alone here. The new angel in your family will add so much pleasure and at the same time change everything completely. Your role as a spouse is still in place, in addition to being the primary caretaker for your baby. You will soon become the world’s greatest juggler! Breathe, take walks with your husband when you can, and make sure you schedule date night for a few hours every week to check in with each other.
It is typical to have added stress and conflict now, but the best thing each of you can do for your new addition is to love and honor your mate. This will quiet the anxious energy in your home and make the impossible (such as brushing your teeth and showering) possible.
Roughly 70 percent of new parents experience conflict the first year. It’s a new dance for everyone, but there is help. I suggest And Baby Makes Three. Good luck with your fabulous, new adventure.
Dear Feelings Doctor: I am an intelligent, educated woman, and I find myself turning off the news, radio, everything and wanting to hide some days. I know that I cannot bury my head in the sand. I feel trapped and depressed by all the BS that is plastered on every screen all the time. Help!
— Cindie in Ojai
Dear Cindie: Staying positive when bad news is everywhere is a challenge that most people deal with. My advice is to keep your pulse on the day for seven to 10 minutes at the most. Then turn off the details that can stress you out and let joy take over. Taking this day right now and making the best of it, and then tomorrow, and then the next day, will keep you on a path of faith and freedom of the fear that can jump in and grab you.
We are certainly being tested every day. Choose peace and share it with everyone you meet today. When you decide to learn through joy, that’s when life gets interesting!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
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— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at randi@noozhawk.com. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.