The idea of a day for giving thanks is great, but in reality, Thanksgivings have a tendency to be a lot of work to prepare that big meal only to watch it be scarfed down and forgotten. Conversation tends to go back and forth between why the Detroit Lions always play on Thanksgiving Day and whether the mashed potatoes are lumpy, while everyone quietly hopes the conversation doesn’t turn to politics or religion, either of which are sure to lead to a fight.
A few years ago, our family began a new Thanksgiving Day tradition. It’s called the Thankful List. Whatever date Thanksgiving falls on, each person makes a list of that number of things they are thankful for. For example, with Thanksgiving falling on Nov. 26 this year, each person will make a list of 26 things.
There’s something magical about a list this long. The first items are easy to rattle off, and they’re largely the same on each person’s list: family, friends, God and country. Then it starts to get interesting. As you hit double digits, you begin to dig a little deeper into the reserve. You begin to reflect on the year — the good times and the bad — and your heart begins to swell.
Then comes the late teens, and perhaps you are beginning to slow down. You’re no longer rattling things off. In years past, this is where I’ve listed things such as my car. I rarely “give thanks” for my car, but I am thankful to have a vehicle that gets me and my family around.
While the late teens are slow, when you hit the 20s, things seem to speed up, and as you near the end you begin to ration. By the time I hit the end, I’m left with the feeling that I could keep going and going. I begin to realize how much I truly have to be thankful for.
As the Thanksgiving meal begins to wind down, we pull out our lists. Someone picks a number, and we each share the thing we listed that we’re thankful for. This can be quite fun because for No. 17 on the list, I may have happened to list something quite serious, such as that I’m thankful to have a loving and supportive wife. But my father-in-law may have listed corn dogs. My sister-in-law may have listed Starbucks.
Indeed, there are big things to be thankful for. I’m thankful to have two beautiful and healthy kids. And there are little things to be thankful for, such as my wife’s grandfather giving us wood for our fireplace.
A dozen or more people sharing 26 things they’re thankful for can take awhile. It’s wonderful. It keeps you at the table and prolongs that meal you took so much time to prepare. As you hear what other people listed, there can be a lot of overlap, but you also hear things that you’re equally thankful for that you just didn’t think to list.
As we sit down to share our lists at the Thanksgiving table this year, our family — all of us — are in a different place than we were a year ago. Undoubtedly, that’s true for millions of others. It’s been a year of hard knocks. But the Thankful List has a way of putting life in perspective. My wife and I showed up at her parents’ house with Taco Bell a few weeks ago. I told my father-in-law, “A year ago, it was just Taco Bell. Today, I’m a hero.”
Hard as the times may be, there’s still an awful lot to be thankful for. And perhaps this year more than any year in a long time, the things we are most thankful for are the things that really matter.
— Clark Vandeventer is a social entrepreneur and is the founder and chairman of The Vandeventer Group. He’s committed to developing practical ideas that make government work and make government work for us.