A transgender student recently shared her pronouns and name with classmates during class at Ballard Elementary School in the Santa Ynez Valley, leading to complaints from a few parents and an outpouring of support from many others.

On Feb. 15, the item came up at a Ballard school board meeting, where a few speakers called for adoption of a parents rights policy, but others urged the community to consider kindness.

Others questioned the involvement of the child’s father, who serves on the school board.

“I just want everyone to understand there are very specific school privacy laws that we have to follow as a public school,” Superintendent/Principal Pam Rennick said, adding that she consulted with legal counsel. 

The youth’s mother, Cailen Conroy, spoke out to dispel misinformation spreading around the Santa Ynez Valley about what some labeled “a gender transition ceremony.”

Both parents were in the classroom for the announcement.

“My child simply wanted her friends and her classmates to know her pronouns and her name. That was it. Nothing further. It took less than 60 seconds probably — this is my name, these are my pronouns. We left. It was really fast. She was so ready to do this because she felt so safe in her community,” the mother said, becoming emotional as she spoke during the school board meeting. 

“As a result, our child has never been happier. It was like a giant weight was lifted off her shoulders, and everything was better because her friends now knew who she was.”

Although speakers used the girl’s name, Noozhawk is not sharing the child’s name or grade to protect her privacy. 

The mother said she spoke up because of “outrageous and unfounded claims” about the announcement and their family. 

“I’m so sorry that some parents felt that they were ambushed and perhaps had conversations they weren’t ready to have with their kid,” Conroy said, adding that they were protecting their family’s privacy. “Whether you agree with me or not, please just remember that I’m a mom doing everything I can to keep my children safe and happy.”

Saying several families had expressed concern, Rebecca Smith called what happened in the classroom “an upsetting situation” and disagreed that it involved a privacy issue. 

“The issue doesn’t lie with a child changing his name,” Smith said, as someone corrected the misused pronoun by shouting “her.” “The issue is that Pam brought in two parents to freely discuss a controversial topic with a class of students without anyone’s consent. I think it’s very important that the board thoroughly consider the way in which this situation was mishandled.”

She called the administration’s decision “reckless, concerning and an abuse of power” before proposing creating a parents rights policy similar to one recently adopted in Orange County.

“I am asking for complete transparency to be put in place in our classroom. Parents need to be notified any time an outside person is brought into our classrooms,” she said. 

A parents rights policy, recently adopted by the Orange County Board of Education in Costa Mesa, details that parents would have access to curriculum, classwork and displays with an ability to opt out.

Schools also would have to notify parents if a child seeks psychological counseling or has a preferred pronoun use. 

Some speakers noted that this wasn’t the first transgendered student at Ballard, which has 118 students spanning kindergarten to sixth grade.

Others questioned why parents hadn’t spoken to their children about the issue.

“Whatever you decide to teach your children in your home, I hope you consider kindness as the most important thing, and I hope that can be what we really can all agree on,” Karla Ford said.

Complicating the matter is that youth’s father, Sean Conroy, serves on the district’s three-member school board. 

That prompted Michelle de Werd,  a member of the Santa Barbara County Board of Education, to recite the roles and responsibilities of school board members, implying the father overstepped as a board member by going into the classroom for the announcement.

Valley resident Bill Krauch said parents did not have an opportunity to opt out when students were addressed by “a non-academic family matter.”

“I think some of the parents felt that person would not be able to make that presentation unless they had some leverage on the teacher and the superintendent. That’s the feedback I’m getting,” Krauch said. 

Others said they didn’t see any undue influence in the matter, and that it instead involved a dad supporting his child.

At the end of the meeting, the board agreed to discuss a parents rights policy at its March 15 meeting, but stopped short of getting a legal opinion from the school’s attorney. 

Board president Tracey Cassidy said she appreciated that staff followed laws protecting children’s privacy. 

“Aside from the rules, I’m proud of our school for handling it in such a human way,” she added.