While the beginning of each school year can bring uncertainty, the transition to middle school can be an especially fraught time for students.
Between changes in their body and emotions, new responsibilities and expectations, and a new environment that can be challenging for some students, beginning middle school can be downright daunting. Helping children navigate this challenging time is critical to their success.
The Jewish Social Service Agency gives parents a heads-up that they might expect to see some unusual behavior from their child as they navigate the change, including hyperactivity, distractibility or agitation.
When parents are prepared for the transition, they can help their child prepare for the transition.
Ask Your Child How He’s Feeling
Talk frankly with your child about his concerns about the coming year. He may worry about the workload or the teachers; he might be intimidated by the size of the school (they’re typically larger and more difficult to navigate than elementary schools); or he might be apprehensive about making friends. Ask your child what he thinks middle school will be like, and how you might help him feel more comfortable about the change. Assure your child that many students are feeling similar apprehension and that it is normal.
Talk About Higher Expectations
From remembering materials to turning in assignments to bringing home gym uniforms to be laundered, middle school students are expected to do more. This is because they are being prepared for high school, where the stakes will be even higher, with students being tasked with choosing classes, managing their study habits and even applying to college and applying for financial aid.
Talk to your child about the fact that the expectations will be higher in middle school. If your student struggles with organization and executive functioning issues such as planning and follow-through, help her identify strategies that might be helpful to put in place from the beginning of the new year. This might include using an organization system such as a zip-up binder, using sticky notes or a smartphone to help remind her to turn in assignments or bring home homework, or learning to use the school website or app to find necessary information.
Social Pressure
Your child might feel various social pressures during the first year of middle school. This can include pressure to engage in romantic relationships, pressure to try drugs or alcohol, or pressure to spread rumors or change aspects of his appearance or personality to “fit in.” If your child hasn’t had any exposure to health classes or discussions at home about puberty, now is the time to broach the subject. Reinforce what your child has learned about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and ask them to model how they would respond if a friend or classmate were to try to persuade them to try such substances.
Now is also a good time to beef up your child’s self-esteem. Assure him of his value as a human being, and make a concerted effort to encourage a strong sense of self-worth in your child. Discuss the harm gossip can do and encourage him not to participate.
Social Media
Given the social upheaval of the tween years, social media can be a landmine. Most platforms have a minimum age of 13 for accounts. Insist that your child stick to those guidelines. If your child does use social media, educate them about the potential dangers and appropriate use of social media. Remind them to think before they post, and to never post anything they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. You also should check your child’s privacy settings and teach them about the value of their privacy online and otherwise.