Dear Inquisitive Canine,
Q: Hi, this might seem like a silly question, because overall, our dog, Tucker, is a wonderful companion and family pet!
However, at 1½ years old, he’s really squirmy about cuddling. He often seems to love attention — stroking, grooming, petting.
But when we’re playing and I try to pick him up for a snuggle, he tries to wriggle away and won’t calm down.
I can’t seem to convince him to transition out of play mode — he actually seems to get even more riled up!
But playtime can’t be all the time. I miss my snuggly little puppy from a year ago. What can I do?
— Lee A.
A: Dear Lee, thank you for being inquisitive. I believe your question/goal is for Tucker to enjoy cuddling with you more often, when you are requesting him to do so.
Good for you for outlining your goals, reading his body language, and asking for guidance with this (not at all silly) question.
Begin by taking a moment to try to walk in Tucker’s paws. Understand that you are asking him to do two things that likely defy his natural instincts, namely interrupting play and being held/hugged/confined by a human.
It sounds like he might not be in the mood for cuddling when he’s knee-deep in play. Can you blame him?
But, as you said, playtime can’t be all the time, so let’s explore areas where acceptance, compromise and training can help out here.
A plan of action for you to consider might looks like this:
Accept
Respect Tucker’s preferences and come to terms with the fact that he is an individual, independent dog who is confident enough to make his own choices.
When he is in the mood to cuddle, you can try to enhance this experience for him by hand-feeding him some yummy treats or some of his meal.
This positive reinforcement associated with a snuggle should help him develop an even more positive conditioned response to (happy feeling about) gentle handling.
Compromise
If he’s not in the mood for this type of interaction, choose a different type of bonding activity.
Maybe training him to do something you’ve been working on, like a general manners behavior (sit, stay, down, wait, etc.) or a special trick.
Tucker sounds like a super fun inquisitive canine!
Train
Practice exercises/training games that include body handling during various times of the day, sometimes when he’s in the mood and other times when he might be less inclined but not necessarily pulling away; somewhere in-between.
For these times, use higher value treats and keep the sessions short — maybe a few seconds, building up to a couple of minutes.
Again, your goal is to get Tucker to develop a positive conditioned response to snuggles, so that these times together are equally enjoyable for you both.
One last thing to account for is Tucker’s age. He’s young and energetic and, from what you’ve described, doesn’t want to be interrupted when he’s active and playful. This could change with age.
So, keep your keen eyes on him and hone in on those times when he might want to spend more time cuddling and less time being squirmy.
Here’s to quality bonding time!