Dear Inquisitive Canine,
Q: We have a golden retriever who is almost 2 years old, and we just got an 8½-week-old puppy.
Our older dog has been to several obedience classes but continues to be very reactive to other dogs and to people. She has been adjusting to the puppy and now wants to play with him all the time. She just has a ton of energy sometimes!
My problem is that she is very rough with him and seems to bully him around. I’m scared to just let them play, with one at 60 pounds and the other at 12 pounds.
It seems like the older dog is always initiating the play and then wants to straddle the puppy and hold him down. I can’t seem to stand it for more than a couple minutes before I feel it may be getting out of control and I separate them.
This doesn’t seem like a good idea either, because I end up in the middle of two dogs that are excited and, as the puppy grows, I can imagine it will get harder to separate them physically.
The older dog doesn’t have much experience playing with other dogs and it seems she becomes way too excited.
— Jill H.
A: Dear Jill, Thank you for sharing your situation. I appreciate your inquisitiveness! Let’s see what suggestions can help in the dog-play arena that is your household!
I believe the last sentence of your explanation really nails the situation right on target: “The older dog doesn’t have much experience playing with other dogs and it seems she becomes way too excited.”
I completely agree! And it is likely that the youngster does not have the experience either.
The good news is, both can learn.
Dog-play behaviors for the most part are innate. This means they’re born with the skills to play appropriately.
They just need a little direction from other inquisitive canines that have good dog-dog and dog-play social skills, along with humans to monitor, read body language, and play referee if and when necessary — before things get too heated up.
You basically have the equivalent of a high-school energetic athlete playing with a pre-K toddler. Both want to engage in play, but because of size and enthusiasm, the situation could go south, resulting in physical injuries or the possibility of fear of playing with other dogs in the future.
As children are often taught, horseplay leads to tragedy! So, understandably, sometimes people panic when dogs play, roughhouse and get loud.
Your responsibility will be to set both dogs up for success so they learn how to play well with each other, play well with other dogs, and stay injury-free.
And their responsibility will be to help you build trust in both of them when they’re being rambunctious and prove to you and other humans that they know what they’re doing.
A few suggestions would be:
- Reward behaviors you like and want. For the older one — playing nicely overall, mentoring, and even tolerating her younger brother. For the pup, you’d be rewarding for being brave, outgoing and polite to his older sister. Motivators to use as reinforcement could include praise, petting when they’re not knee-deep in play, treats for each after a session and/or when they take a break, and of course, the opportunity to play.
- Teach your older dog to lie down while the youngster gets a chance to romp/sniff and play around his sibling. Big sis gets extra yummies and praise for being helpful and tolerant of her younger brother.
- Enroll your new puppy in a humane, reward-based puppy class. Puppy-play with similar aged pals can help teach dog-play skills. Sometimes siblings end up putting up with a lot more from one another than nonresident dogs do, so variety can help build social skills.
- Consider finding a humane, reward-based trainer to help you with your older dog’s behavioral concerns (“reactive to other dogs and people”). If you are able to work with these issues, you’ll then be able to take both dogs to other classes and outings together.
- Observe your dogs at play, watching for appropriate consensual play behavior including self-interruptions and “listening” to one another. If they don’t take breaks, it’s OK to help guide them. Before they get too riled up, interrupt, give them a “manners break,” then allow them to continue play.
With your keen dog-parenting skills, time, and a little guidance, your dogs should be well on their way to a fun-loving, harmonious sibling relationship