Helen Joan Tuomey, known to most as Joan, pronounced Jo Ann, passed away peacefully on July 5, 2026, in Santa Barbara, just a few days shy of her 98th birthday.
She lived a full, beautiful life, and left this world the same way she moved through it, with grace and a quiet warmth that made everyone around her feel at home.
Joan was born on July 21, 1928, in Tacoma, Washington, where she enjoyed a happy childhood and spent her summers on Vashon Island.
Her loving parents were Stanley Niesen and Frances (née Melse) Niesen, and her older sister, Shirley (née Porro).
She graduated from the University of Washington in 1950 before embarking on what would become the adventure of a lifetime.
As a United Airlines stewardess, she flew in a Douglas DC-6 on the West Coast routes and soon met FBI Agent Robert Noël Tuomey of Brightwaters, New York, on one of her flights. They dated in San Francisco and were married May 17, 1954.
When the FBI transferred Bob and Joan to Puerto Rico, they started their family there, welcoming their first two children Robert and Diane. The family then moved to Los Angeles, where Frances and Michael were born, and then on to Brightwaters, New York, where the last two kids Nancy and Steven were born.
Joan kept busy with the family. She earned her master’s degree and became a teacher. She also became the boys and girls varsity tennis coach at Babylon High School on Long Island, a role that suited her competitive spirit perfectly.
She was known as very even tempered, kind, and with a generous soul, but there was another side. Whether playing bridge or tennis, she would lock in and compete fiercely, which actually made those interactions even more fun.
She played tennis until she was 90 alongside Bob and their many friends, and she loved watching almost all sports, including tennis, basketball, football and the Olympics.
She was always light-hearted and had a sweet chuckle that she shared to the very end.
She was an animal lover who was loved by animals in return. And she enjoyed ice cream more than just about anything.
Joan and Bob saw the world together on many of Bob’s business trips. She was a proud “Grammy” to her grandchildren Evan, Ivan, LuRay and Theo, and spending time with them brought her enormous joy.
She was deeply involved in her community through the League of Women Voters, PEO, St. Vincent’s, and was a eucharistic minister at the Santa Barbara Mission.
A devout woman of faith, Joan attended mass every morning at a nearby convent or church and knew many of the nuns and priests personally. Her faith was woven into the fabric of her daily life.
Joan and Bob moved to Santa Barbara in 1995, where they spent their final happy years together. Among their favorite pastimes was helping daughter Diane at her chicken farm and selling eggs at the local farmers market.
Joan was preceded in death by her beloved husband Bob, age 97, with whom she spent 68 blessed years together; her son Robert Stanley; and daughter Frances (Robert Froewiss).
She is survived by her daughters Diane (Robert Tropper) and Nancy (John Bosco); and her sons Michael and Steven. She loved the nieces and nephews of her sister, the Porros, and Bob’s nieces and nephews, the Baxters and Tuomeys.
Joan’s twilight years were spent at Wood Glen, a beautiful retirement residence in the quiet foothills of Santa Barbara. She had many wonderful friends and appreciated the kindness of those who took care of her.
On one of her final days, Joan was happy to watch a women’s singles match at Wimbledon and sat up to share some ice cream with the family. That moment was a slice of heaven for all of us.