I’m willing to bet that the following situation has happened to you. One of your friends introduces you to another person. You stick out your hand, smile, look the person in the eye and say, “Nice to meet you.” Then, the dreaded words come out of a disappointed expression on the other’s face. “We’ve met, twice.”
How do you recover? Stay calm and use something like, “Of course! Please forgive my memory lapse. It’s great to see you again.” Or, apologize and use a bit of humor. “I remember children’s and dog’s names, but I’m obviously not great with adults!”
I know it is very often that I will know someone and completely draw a blank — even if I know them well. Call it an age thing if you like, but it is still difficult.
To avoid that situation ever happening again, consider helping people out. For instance, if you are standing with a group and someone you know approaches, be the first to stick out your hand and greet him or her. I always ask everyone if they’ve met each other. If not, I ask them to please introduce themselves.
While they are doing that I try to listen for their names yet again. This is always good if you can’t remember everyone’s full names in the group. Look at it as helping others out.
Of course, if everyone is wearing name tags on his or her right shoulder, that will solve the problem. But that’s isn’t always the case. And, it’s sometimes difficult to scramble to look at a name tag when the lighting is less than desirable at a gathering.
If you do know the person who approaches you well, be sure that everyone is properly introduced. If you take the lead and introduce others in the group, this will also give the newcomer a chance to voice who he or she has or has not already met.
Another potential hazard to avoid is approaching someone at a networking event and start talking to him or her as if you had been together the previous day. The person you’ve approached may have met you in the past; however, he or she may not remember your name. So, if you approach someone you see infrequently, always say, “Hi, Carol. It’s John Daly. I am so happy to see you!”
I do a lot of speaking to all different types of groups and often people expect me to know them because they were in a seminar I taught. I am sorry to say that it is all a sea of faces while I am speaking. While I may be able to see a name tag and call someone by name, it is always important to introduce yourself again at the evening function when we see each other. A simple, “Hi, John, it’s Jane here” works. And it makes all feel more comfortable when I say “Of course, Jane, you were in my seminar today.”
Often seeing someone out of the normal context of where you may usually see them can throw a person. That’s why you should always make a self-introduction, such as “Hi, John Daly here.”
The key is to prevent an embarrassing situation for the other person and yourself. How?
» Always make sure everyone in your group gets a proper introduction. You can always ask, “Carol, do you know Bob?” Never assume that everyone knows each other.
» When approaching someone, always say your full name, such as “Hi! John Daly here. Great to see you!” Don’t ever assume that person will remember any or all of your name.
» If someone approaches you, and you don’t remember his or her name, or that you met previously, just be honest and apologize. Use tasteful humor to let the person know that you aren’t good at remembering everyone’s names.
The bottom line in any embarrassing situation is to remember to be honest and polite. None of us are infallible. It’s not comfortable to make another unhappy with us, but let your warmth and genuine interest in that person in that moment overcome any mistake in remembering his or her name or face.
— John Daly is the founder and president of The Key Class, the go-to guide for job search success. Click here to learn more about The Key Class or to get his book. If you have questions about business or social etiquette, just ask John at johnkeyclass@gmail.com. Connect with The Key Class on Facebook. Follow John Daly on Twitter: @johndalyjr. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.