Question from Shawna
So I’ve recently (within the past few months) been drawn to ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response, and the idea behind it and how it helps so many people with stress and anxiety and insomnia, but so many people think that it’s weird and pointless.
I have a Blue Yeti microphone (which is very very good for making ASMR). and I know how to do a bunch of sounds and stuff. I know a bunch of techniques to ASMR and I really, really want to create a YouTube channel and make and post my own ASMR videos on it.
The thing is that I don’t know what my friends and family would think of me. Will they think I’m weird and I’m wasting my time? Or will they think that I’m helping people and doing a good deed?
I’m homeschooled so I have a ton of free time, and I can make and edit my videos without being rushed. But if I go through with it, then I’d have to tell my family and friends at some point. Part of me is like “LET’S GO AND DO IT,” but the other side of me is timid and worried about what others will think of me.
Should I pursue the idea of becoming an ASMRist?
Weezy
First, I will say that a lot of people love ASMR and find it soothing and helpful. Second, I will tell you that it does seem pretty weird to me.
However, I thoroughly understand that I am not the standard barer for all of humanity. I don’t like olives. Most people do. But … people can identify an olive and grasp the concept that their distaste for olives does not preclude others from enjoying them.
I lay all of this out there for you because I KNOW that once you start posting ASMR content on a YouTube channel the flack and the questions and the judgment will be incoming. Are you ready for that?
I can tell you that people should be more thoughtful and open minded about a new concept. I can also tell you that they won’t be. I don’t know your age but if we assume that you are still a child, please know that as an adult you will have a better sense of yourself and you will be better able to handle people’s questions, incredulity and, frankly, rudeness.
While you are still young and with your parents’ permission why don’t you make your channel with a screen name that does not identify you. As you gain confidence in what you are doing, you can start to share it with your friends.
We all worry about what others think of us, but experience will strengthen your confidence and your ability to articulate why you create this content. Ultimately, people are drawn to those who are enthusiastic about what they do and true to themselves and their interests. For readers who are new to the term ASMR, here is some background:
(National Post video)
Question from Amanda
Hi, Weezy! I’m going to middle school tomorrow. I was popular in fifth grade, and was super smart. I’m going to a new school. I know everyone is like, you’ll be fine, but I want some down-to-earth advice.
I’m super kind and social, but never spread gossip or rumors. I know I’m the kind of kid you should hate but can’t help liking. I want some advice for getting my name around the school. Please don’t say that I’ll be fine, because I’m a likable person. I’m tired of that crap.
Weezy
I would say that you should give some thought to what you say and how it may be received. For example, maybe you shouldn’t ask someone a question and then tell them how not to respond because you are “tired of that crap.” It comes across as bossy and harsh.
You see yourself as being kind so be truly kind and respectful to everyone you encounter. Don’t worry just yet about getting your name around the school. That could get you into trouble. Remember that you were the big kids in fifth grade. You guys are going to be the little kids at this school.
Focus on helping others have a great day. Share compliments and smiles easily. Be inclusive and approachable. Be a great listener. Join clubs and activities. Maybe run for office or join the media team. Also, don’t think of yourself as the kind of kid you should hate but … Honestly, people really do like likable people.
Question from Alexandra
Hi, Weezy! So, I’m just a tween girl who happens to be bi. I don’t like all of President Donald Trump’s actions, mainly the racist-, gender- and immigrant-based tweets.
My aunt and uncle, who I’m very close to, agree with his beliefs. They are also against gay love. I can’t wear any of my pride shirts there. I can’t wear any blue shirts. They are also super Christian. I just bite my tongue over there, but it gets hard.
Me and my cousins are super close. Their parents give them a tough life at times, so we try to support them. I brought up Ellen DeGeneres around the girl cousin, and she said that Ellen should go to hell because she is a sinner.
I once had a good thing going with a girl (it never ended up being anything), but I couldn’t talk to my cousin about it for fear she would just go tell her mom. My immediate family (mom, dad) are the opposite of my aunt, and so am I.
I wish I could go up to my aunt and say, “You are not 100 percent Native American, so someone in your family history immigrated. You are speaking shit about your own damn self, unless you have found the magic number for how many generations it takes for you to not be related to an immigrant.”
I can’t just go up and state my beliefs. What should I do to deal?
Weezy
I love what you are already doing. You are formulating your belief system. Sometimes when we run up against values that are opposed to our own, it helps us place our beliefs in sharper focus. It helps us give our views language so that when it’s the right time to articulate them (as in your letter to me) we can do that. It helps us understand that one way to push back against hate and ignorance and intolerance is to be more kind and loving.
You have the power to do this every day of your life. One smile at a time. Arguing with your aunt and uncle will get you nowhere. Being thoughtful and generous to someone of a different race or sexual orientation than your own will contribute toward moving humanity in a more positive and loving direction.
Your aunt and uncle have not earned your trust and so there is no need to share any of the personal details of your life with them. Unfortunately, your cousin is in the line of fire here.
A common rule of thumb is to limit disagreements by avoiding the topics of politics and religion. That is more true now than ever. You are not going to change their views. Continue building upon your own, and add your kindness and caring to the world every day.
When you are old enough to safely take a stand with these people, you can respectfully do that.
• • •
Got a question for Weezy? Email her at news@noozhawk.com and it may be answered in a subsequent column.
— Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She also hosts a weekly video podcast called Things I Found Online, and teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.