Question from Felicity
Weezy, my family can’t afford clothes and other stuff all the kids at school have, and sometimes we go shopping at thrift shops. One time someone who goes to my school must have seen me there because suddenly everyone was calling me poor and dirty.
I feel lonely and excluded because I don’t have Coach purses or Bench jackets and my phone was from my friend who sold it because it was all cracked.
How can I feel like I fit in when I don’t?
Weezy
Fitting in should have nothing to do with what you wear or hold. The content of your character is your most valuable possession. Own what you’ve got and love your look. If somebody says something about it, you can reply, “Do you know how shallow you sound right now?” Then just walk away.
A lot of very cool people choose to shop at thrift stores because you find such interesting and unique items. Clothes with stories and history and character. You can put together your own style and live within your family’s budget and be proud of that.
My opinion of wearing things that have a label for the sake of that label is not very high. In fact, I think they should pay me if I am going to be walking around advertising their brand like I’m some kind of billboard.
You do you, and when someone says something rude, stick up for yourself and shine a light on their idiotic words. It’s very sad that those kids have such poor and dirty character.
(Totally Studios video)
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Question from Sam
I have been having some trouble with my boyfriend. He doesn’t text me much because he’s trying to improve his grades, but he also doesn’t text me for days on end because his phone keeps “dying” randomly. He is an absolute angel when he DOES text me but idk. Should I dump him? Cause I feel kinda neglected tbh.
Weezy
The answer to that question will have to come from within you. We cannot change anyone else. We can only decide what we would like to do based on our experiences and whether the folks we have chosen as close confidants are meeting our needs.
You may want to try not texting him at all for a bit. Give him a chance to miss you. See if he reaches out. When you let someone go, one of two things will happen. They may return to you, or you may stop caring if they do or do or not.
You do deserve to have a boyfriend who makes you a priority and who goes out of his way to help you feel safe, protected and loved. If that is not happening consistently enough for you then try taking several steps back.
You can also let your boyfriend know what your expectations are within a relationship. How often you would like to talk to him and see him, etc. Ask him how much of his time will be devoted to his studies for the next few months, and then make your next decision based on what you learn and how you feel.
You can be patient and understanding but only up to a point. If your goals are not in alignment with his, it may be time for you to find the love you deserve in someone else.
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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at news@noozhawk.com and it may be answered in a subsequent column.
— Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She also co-hosts the podcast Media Path with Fritz Coleman, and teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.