Dear Feelings Doctor: I have a wonderful girlfriend who has two high school children. I have raised my own family, and now all I want is to have fun. I really do enjoy being around my girl, but her kids I am not down with. What should I do to move things along?

— Fun Guy in Santa Barbara

Dear Fun Guy: I hear you say you want to enjoy your life and “just have fun” with your girl. Everyone should celebrate each day that they have above ground in a big way! So, you should find someone without children or a woman whose children are already out of the house.

Really, would you want a woman who would choose you over her kids? Honestly? And if you truly have no time or desire to engage them, they already know it. Kids from a divided family don’t need any more reasons to feel bad about what’s going on in their lives. Sounds like you’re the one who needs to move along.

Dear Feelings Doctor: Thank you so much for your upbeat and cheerful attitude with your column. It is such a welcomed treat to my week. Keep the messages and guidance coming. I just love it.

— Karen in Santa Barbara

Dear Karen: Thank you for reading and enjoying the column. Share it with your friends, family, co-workers and even strangers! It’s all about communicating; and the more we all can do it, the easier our day, our week and our lives will become. Less stress, more bless.

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Imagine This …

Happiness is a butterfly
which when pursued,
is just beyond your grasp …
but if you sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
— Nathaniel Hawthorne

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at randi@noozhawk.com. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.