She: There’s new research out about Facebook.
Z: Awesome. If we write about Facebook again can we get in on the IPO? A few complimentary stock options?
She: I wish, but not so much. This new study came out saying that using Facebook may cause people to feel bitter about their own lives. They constantly compare themselves to other people’s carefully selected posts about days full of gourmet meals, extravagant vacations, game-winning soccer goals, straight-A report cards and mind-blowing sex.
Z: Mind-blowing sex gets posted on Facebook? Who are these researchers’ friends? I want to party with those scientists.
She: Honestly, I just invented that part to make sure you were paying attention.
Z: Maybe if you did that on Facebook, I’d start reading your posts.
She: So this study, out of Utah Valley University, which I read about on Miller-McCune, suggests that using Facebook may be skewing the way people perceive their lives.
Z: I know one guy who actually hasn’t gotten on yet for that very reason.
She: You know someone who’s not on Facebook? Are you friends with the Unabomber?
Z: When I first got on Facebook I remember thinking there were a lot of people posting about how great everything was in their lives.
She: It was a pretty self-selecting group in the beginning.
Z: Like high school reunions, if your life really sucks then you don’t go. But Facebook isn’t like that at all anymore.
She: Yeah, I don’t see too much “look at my beautiful life” stuff either, as evidenced by the completely unflattering pictures people keep posting of me.
Z: I think you’re just getting confused with your celebrity doppelganger, Queen Latifah.
She: Not only are my friends not editing out the bad news about their lives, it’s mostly the opposite. People are constantly posting about dealing with divorces or dead relatives, aging parents, troubled teenagers and job downsizing. It’s kind of depressing sometimes.
Z: And don’t forget all of the middle-aged health problems. Apparently, I know lots of people with blown-out joints or impending surgical procedures.
She: I don’t even look at the current pictures on Facebook of all the cute boys I knew in high school. I want to remember them the way they were.
Z: I’m sorry. I know I don’t make that any easier, being the man-candy I am. Are they not pretty?
She: Well, they’re not 16 anymore, that’s for sure. Clearly, neither are my women friends, given all of the hot flash references that come across my screen. It’s not a pretty picture.
Z: Which probably explains the number of skiing monkey videos people still post.
She: Exactly. Which is why I’m always happy to see funny news clips or the tips on movies and books, restaurants and art exhibits; happy stuff.
Z: Either that or political stuff. I get a lot of that on Facebook.
She: Me, too. The number of Republicans that we know — and like — is a little bit disconcerting.
Z: Some of them post so much that I suspect they’re running for office.
She: Nah, it could never happen. Too much stuff about their less-than-picture-perfect lives on Facebook.
Z: Not to mention all those posts about mind-blowing sex.
She: Yes, dear.
— Tell She and Z if Facebook is your friend or foe by emailing leslie@lesliedinaberg.com. And follow them on Twitter: @lesliedinaberg. Click here for previous She Said, Z Said columns.