Spend enough time at sea and you’ll have some stories to tell. Some will likely be wild stories requiring an ending such as, “I swear by my tattoo!”
Here’s one: While cruising to Santa Cruz Island one crisp clear winter morning after a drenching storm had passed over us a couple of days earlier, I spied a stick jutting a couple of feet up out of the water.
Knowing it may be the top of something larger, I slowed and gave the potential hazard to navigation a wide berth.
As I drew close, I did a double take and just shook my head. That stick was the top piece of a very large and very ornate submerged wooden spiral staircase looking like it came right out of a sprawling southern mansion. I swear by my tattoo.
Now, I pose a fair and honest question: How did that spiral staircase get into the middle of the Santa Barbara Channel?
On another trip, we were coming back from San Miguel Island and were a long way from anywhere. I saw what appeared, at a distance, to be a lifeguard’s buoy and altered course to investigate.
Sure enough, it was a lifeguard’s buoy, and the ankle strap leash was hanging straight down into the water.
My crew and I were very nervous about pulling up that line to see what might be attached to that ankle leash, but to our relief it was empty. I swear by my tattoo.
Many years ago, a commercial fisherman friend swore off drinking one morning when, on his way to Santa Rosa Island and with a few miles yet to go, he saw what looked like the branches of a tree bobbing along in the water.
He moved in to investigate and questioned his own sanity when he saw a huge bull elk swimming strongly toward the island.
He thought about trying to help the animal, but the logistical problems and very real expectation of fatal injury changed his mind. He just swore off drinking and went on his way.
A couple of days later, the truth came out. Some of the elk were being transported from the island and an alpha bull elk had busted the wooden cage housing and jumped ship during the Channel crossing.
Personally, I’m pretty sure the elk made it. I swear by my tattoo.
While on my way to a fishing spot near the coast one morning, I couldn’t help altering course to take a closer look at what sure looked like a barrel cactus growing out of the sea.
The closer I got the more it looked like a cactus growing out of the water. When I finally got up alongside, I could see that it was in a barely floating planting pot.
I hauled it in and that cactus lived for some time. I swear by my tattoo.
You may be wondering about my tattoo that I keep swearing by. That will have to remain my secret for now.
