If you’re reading this, you survived the “Atmospheric River.” Or you don’t live in Santa Barbara County. I do, so I must have survived, too.

There were 77,632 people who read Noozhawk this past week. What’s my take on your top stories? I’m glad you asked. It’s a more eclectic collection this time, so here we go …

1. Drug Overdose Suspected in Death of Man Found in Santa Barbara’s Pershing Park

A passer-by discovered the body of a 45-year-old man near Pershing Park on Dec. 6. Santa Barbara police say there are indications he died of a drug overdose.

“A citizen saw the subject in the vegetation planter area of the park near the baseball diamond earlier in the day and didn’t think anything of it, but returned later and saw the person in the same position and became concerned,” police Sgt. Bryan Jensen told our Giana Magnoli.

Jensen said the man’s name was being withheld pending notification of next of kin. He is believed to be a local.

The Santa Barbara County Coroner’s Office is investigating.

2. Man Injured By Cow Airlifted to Hospital

The police scanner is on 24/7 at Noozhawk World HQ, so it’s mostly background noise for many of us. Sometimes, though, the words catch everyone’s ear and all conversation just stops.

For example: “Man with crushed chest … from a cow.”

We hope the victim can laugh about it someday, but for now he’s in no condition to chuckle.

According to county Fire Department spokesman Mike Eliason, a cattle branding went awry at North Fork Ranch in the Cuyama Valley on Dec. 10 when a large cow charged a 65-year-old man, pinning him against the corral rails.

“The man had suffered moderate injuries to his chest and upper body and was having difficulty breathing,” Eliason told our Janene Scully.

Firefighter-paramedics who responded determined an airlift was a better option to get the man to medical treatment. A county Air Operations helicopter flew him to Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital.

Paul Freeman of Freeman’s Flying Chicken is serving up chicken and sides, on the west side of Earl Warren Showgrounds. (Gina Potthoff / Noozhawk photo)

Paul Freeman of Freeman’s Flying Chicken is serving up chicken and sides, on the west side of Earl Warren Showgrounds. (Gina Potthoff / Noozhawk photo)

3. BizHawk: Freeman’s Flying Chicken Cooking Up Fast Family Meals

Bucking the trend of Santa Barbara’s proliferating pizza places, Paul Freeman has created a new dining option for busy locals — with easy access, plentiful parking and no reservations needed. In fact, you can pretty much come as you are. Or have your dinner delivered.

The former chef has just opened Freeman’s Flying Chicken, a dinnertime takeout and delivery-only eatery located at Earl Warren Showgrounds, 3400 Calle Real. As our Gina Potthoff reported, Freeman’s specialties are rotisserie chicken and savory sauces, along with a deliciously tempting menu of sides.

Of course, when you think of Earl Warren and food, kettle corn and cotton candy are probably the first things that come to mind. Then you’re thinking where in the world is Freeman’s Flying Chicken?

Just enter at Gate C, which is the westernmost gate off Calle Real. Drive in past the first row of stables on the right and you’ll see it adjacent to the riding ring. If you reach the roller rink, you’ve gone too far. 

“We’re in the center of about 8,000 family homes,” Freeman said of the otherwise unlikely spot. “The premise is an alternative to pizza for busy families.”

Freeman’s Flying Chicken is open 4 to 9 p.m. daily, and will be the official concessionaire for Earl Warren’s summer horse shows.

And off you go. (Urban Hikers photo)

And off you go. (Urban Hikers photo)

4. Man Hospitalized After Stabbing on Santa Barbara’s Westside

A man was stabbed outside Westside Market & Liquor, 735 W. Micheltorena St. in Santa Barbara, on Dec. 7, but the suspect didn’t hang around to talk to police.

According to Sgt. Dave Henderson, the stabbing occurred just before 11 p.m. The victim, identified only as a Hispanic male in his early 30s, suffered a nonlife-threatening wound and was transported to Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital by an American Medical Response ambulance.

“We do have suspect information,” said Henderson, who declined to say more because of the ongoing investigation.

It was not known if the incident was gang-related. Well, let’s just leave it at that.

The weather has other ideas about rocket science. (United Launch Alliance photo)

The weather has other ideas about rocket science. (United Launch Alliance photo)

5. Atlas V Rocket to Launch from Vandenberg Air Force Base on Thursday — Weather Permitting

Launching an Atlas V rocket is a complex mobilization. You can plan and plan and plan, and then a storm pops up and blows the whole timetable.

Despite the elaborate pre-launch coordination at Vandenberg Air Force Base, the United Launch Alliance Atlas V booster that was supposed to lift off Dec. 11 from Space Launch Complex-3 East on South Base was postponed at least a day because of the arrival of that “Atmospheric River” I mentioned earlier, AKA the Pineapple Express.

Whenever it does lift off, our Janene Scully most likely will be there to report on the history-making mission.

Although nine Atlas Vs have launched from VAFB, this one — carrying a top-secret spacecraft for the National Reconnaissance Office — is the most powerful yet, with four boosters attached to the Common Booster Core to provide more thrust upon departure.

“When you break it down, this is the most powerful Atlas vehicle ever launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base,” said Air Force Lt. Col. James Bodnar, commander of the 4th Space Launch Squadron. “And that’s a history of decades of launching Atlas from here that goes back to the ’60s.”

                                                                 •        •        •

Not a cat guy, but this kept me entertained for almost a minute and a half. HT to Kirsten Macfadyen.

(blakekelly0 video)

                                                                  •        •        •

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— Bill Macfadyen is Noozhawk’s founder and publisher. Contact him at wmacfadyen@noozhawk.com, follow him on Twitter: @noozhawk, or click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

Bill Macfadyen is Noozhawk’s founder and publisher. Contact him at wmacfadyen@noozhawk.com, and follow him on Instagram: @bill.macfadyen. The opinions expressed are his own.