Hang around the harbor awhile and you will see boat handling mishaps that shock, amaze and entertain. If you are standing too close, some mishaps may put you in motion as fast as your sea legs will carry you away from danger.

I’m recalling one fine summer day on Marina 2 in Santa Barbara Harbor when sudden erratic boat movement caught my eye. Soon I was shaking my head in disbelief.

A newer and beautifully appointed 40-plus-foot custom cruiser bolted suddenly out of her slip, nearly ramming into vessels berthed in their slips across the fairway, stopped just in the nick of time and then jerked into reverse with equal suddenness.

This happened twice in rapid succession.

The climax was when one of the passengers — a lady in a fine red cocktail dress — was jerked right off her feet, over the rail and into the water.

It looked for a moment that the boat would run her over with a propeller or smash her between boat and dock.
 
Fortunately, whoever was at the helm, quickly shut down the engines. That was first sane act I had witnessed thus far.

All hands reached out to fend off the dock while the lady climbed onto the dock and looked down at her ruined dress. She was invited back aboard, but she wanted no part of that boat. I couldn’t blame her.

Nearby volunteers eased the boat back into her slip. They may have even been kind enough to show the person at the helm the difference between the throttle and the shifter.

The near disaster looked to be because of a total lack of boat handling skills. It sounded and looked like the person at the helm revved up the engine and then shoved it alternately into forward and then reverse.

Such mishaps are not all that uncommon, I am sad to report. Should you want to witness some very humorous boat and tow vehicle mishandling, and if you can stand some frightful moments, just spend a few hours at the public launch ramp on a busy weekend.

Most trailer boat folks know what they are doing, but the beginners who have not done their homework and feel they own the ocean can be downright scary.

I recall one day when a guy’s truck ended up in the water and the boat trailer was still on dry land. That one didn’t go quite as planned.

These problems are not limited to the launch ramp. Some very expensive boats in equally expensive slips are manned by people who seem to feel that once they spend all that money, everyone should simply stay out of their way.

Some jet skiers can make you laugh and cringe in rapid succession. They blast through the harbor ignoring the speed limits, charge boats dangerously close because they want to jump wakes.

My advice — before boating, take a free boater course from the US Power & Sail Squadron, or the Coast Guard Auxiliary.

You’ll be glad you did, and so will the rest of us.