Sitting around a campfire or even a fire ring in the backyard tends to bring about some fun and entertaining discussion. Our species has been telling stories and making things up around campfires ever since mankind could start a fire.
It truly is a special and unique culture among ancient peoples all around the world. And it is still something that we revere and feel natural doing. May it always be so!
Around a recent campfire I had the pleasure of being a part of a group of folks whose thoughts and talk became creative. We drew upon experiences and observations throughout our lives to come up with fun and often entertaining sayings which all begin with the same opening line, “As Nervous as …”
I couldn’t remember them all because it became rapid and freeflowing, but below are some I was able to remember. Apologies if any rub against your sensitivities; it was never the intention of anyone around that campfire. Some of the critter sayings are mine. I’m sure you could add some good ones to the list yourself.
As nervous as …
a fieldmouse in a hawk’s shadow
a pigeon in a peregrine falcon’s shadow
a bug in a bird’s beak
a mouse in a circle of traps
a frog watching a coyote circling
a termite in a steel building
an injured deer watching condors circle overhead
a fox at a hound convention
a deer on a firing range
a cat falling out of a tree over a dog kennel
a tired hummingbird over an open ocean
a bumble bee flying in a hailstorm
an anchovy during a barracuda bite
a potato chip on Super Bowl Sunday
a bottle of beer at a Super Bowl Party
a rule in a book of loopholes
a napkin on a lap at a pizza party
a cussword in church
an alibi in a courtroom
a wrestler before his/her first match
a pumpkin on Halloween
a parent on prom night
a bug on a spider web
a first-time skydiver grasping for the cord
a cat in a lightning storm
a piglet at a hog roast
a novice gambler at a Las Vegas poker table
a sea lion in a pod of orcas
a driver when the check engine light comes on
a southbound driver on a northbound freeway
a leaf in a windstorm
a surfer looking down at a large grey shape
a skater on thin ice
a teen sneaking in after curfew
Humpty Dumpty trying another wall
A quarterback during a defensive blitz
— Capt. David Bacon operates WaveWalker Charters and is president of SOFTIN Inc., a nonprofit organization providing seafaring opportunities for those in need. Visit softininc.blogspot.com to learn more about the organization and how you can help. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.