International Woman’s Day was March 8th and the 2016 campaign theme is “Pledge For Parity”. Their goals are very nice for the relatively minor disparities in our country and in our culture: help women achieve their ambitions, challenge bias, call for gender balanced leadership, value women and men’s contributions equally and create inclusive, flexible cultures.
These are surprisingly positive and “gentle” goals given the absolute horrors perpetrated against women by cowardly, male dominated cultures and abusive “religious” beliefs in our modern world: rampant physical and psychological abuse by men, sex trafficking and slavery, honor killings, witchcraft burning, acid attacks, war rape, breast ironing and the worst abuse perpetuated upon young girls, clitorectomy or female genital mutilation. Lest we think FGM is an occasional butchery, the UN estimates that 135 million women around the world have been subjected to this procedure (and that’s the low end figure; the high end estimate is 200 million).
The abuse suffered by women around society’s basic relationship of marriage is mind boggling: child marriage, forced marriage, bride burning, widow sacrifice and dowery deaths. Read the report on these horrific practices here: http://www.un.org/en/globalissues/briefingpapers/endviol/
It would be really nice to make sure the relatively minor problem of women getting equal pay for equal work in our country is resolved. However, it is far more important to end these major abuses and challenge the cultures that encourage these antiquated, cowardly, male-dominated behaviors.
Let’s get our priorities in order.
I am most fortunate to speak to women, everyday, who, for all intents and purposes, are in a secret society, of sorts. They walk among us without notice by others and even without notice of themselves as being a distinct group. These women are, for the most part, larger than the males in their community and they are more coordinated and athletically inclined. They don’t feel threatened by the men because of this but also because they are usually better at mathematics and science and intellectual pursuits, in general, and because they are far more socially adept and sophisticated in their relationships. Because of their physical, intellectual, social and emotional superiority compared to the men, they have a natural assertiveness and absence of fear and do not have the slightest idea that women could possibly be discriminated against or abused, especially by the weaker men. It is almost impossible for them to conceive of such a situation.
I am talking, of course, about 13 year old girls.
Speaking to these young women-to-be is nothing short of inspirational. If they detect the slightest hint of inequality, they are up in arms and ready to assert their equality and independence. Upon hearing stories of discrimination, they are correctly mystified and appalled. At this time of their lives, when most girls are about two developmental years ahead of the boys, they enjoy this natural superiority without rancor or anger toward the boys because they have never known this type of cowardly and fearful male domination, discrimination and abuse.
The discussion of discrimination and abuse against girls also has a profound effect on the boys. They are generally quiet, possibly embarrassed by the abuses of their gender upon their female peers and friends, possibly and quietly vowing never to be guilty of such terrible behavior toward women.
A major development in ending this violence and abuse of women around the world is the discovery of healthy, equal relationships between men and women, regardless of abusive cultural and religious norms and upbringing. All cultures condition their children. However, understanding that just because a practice is cultural does not automatically make it “right”, is an important realization. Culturally conditioning and religiously educating children to unequal, unfair, discriminatory and violent practices is a form of child abuse, in itself (e.g. girls have to wear burkas and boys can beat girls with sticks). Calling a practice “cultural” does not excuse child abuse. Calling an ancient practice “religious” is no excuse for child abuse.
Media education (cell phones, computers, movies, TV, etc) and travel is probably the easiest way for women around the world to see equal male/female relationships across cultures. The recent film, “Mustang”, by D. Erguven, depicts what has become acceptable child abuse under the disguise of culture and the efforts of five young sisters to escape this cultural, religious and parental abuse. One reviewer said, “Smart, perceptive, keenly observant and heartbreaking: how the world crushes girls and turns lively people into automatons merely because they are female.” http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/mustang_2015/
“Look at that, the husband died and they didn’t have to burn the widow”; “In that country, women don’t have to wear sacks from head to toe, they can go to school, they can drive and they don’t get beaten with a stick for being outside the house without a male relative. I think I’d like to live in that country and change our abusive culture.”
Media and travel education might be the easiest way to re-educate culturally abused women but the best way is, perhaps, getting to know the American teenage girl. Yes, they are completely spoiled and self-centered. Yes, they are an absolutely goofy mix of child and budding adult but they are also the best example of children raised to be assertive, strong, equal and aware of injustice.
I don’t know if there is, but I wish there was, a way for culturally and religiously abused girls the world over to know the American teenage girl. So, mothers and fathers, praise your daughters. They have a tough, lifelong job ahead of them for which they will never get paid and for which they may never even realize that they are doing: being the best example and role model of strong, assertive, highly educated, culturally equal and free women that our world has ever known.
Victor Dominocielo
Santa Barbara
