The terrorist attacks in France have been the leading news story since they occurred. We have seen the horrible images from the videos of the attack, read firsthand accounts from witnesses to the massacre and watched real-time footage of police searching for the suspects.
Nearly all media outlets had ongoing 24-hour coverage of the tragedy and the events surrounding it. Although most of us were not directly affected by the events, the repeated images, media discussions and ongoing conversations about the attacks can evoke a range of feelings.
For many, even though this tragedy occurred thousands of miles away, feelings of a lack of safety, helplessness and anxiety can be triggered. These feelings can be magnified for children and for those of us who already feel anxious or unsafe in our daily lives.
While we cannot change the horror of what happened in Paris, we can affect how we react to the news and the impact it makes on our daily lives. Exerting control over a situation like the terrorist attacks that is entirely out of our control can be empowering and health promoting. Here are some tips to consider:
» While a tragedy likes this makes you question your own safety, it is important to resume your normal routine as much as possible. We gain comfort from routine. Moreover, if we begin to avoid a situation that causes some anxiety, the anxiety may be reinforced and we could become paralyzed by it.
» Resist the natural temptation to ruminate on the tragedy or retreat from others. Push yourself to engage with others and talk about your feelings. Research has shown that reaching out to friends for support in times like these is a healthy response.
» Limit your exposure to the media coverage of the event. With our continuous news coverage, it is easy to become oversaturated with the ongoing reporting and updates. Focus on limiting your exposure to it, especially prior to bedtime.
» Events like this can be catalysts to find the time to recognize those we care for and honor them by verbalizing our feelings for them in a positive and loving way.
» Engage in helping those affected directly by the tragedy, others who are in need, or the victims of violence in our community. Research has shown that providing constructive aid decreases the stress response and can increase feelings of empowerment. Working with a community group you are a member of or finding one to offer aid to, can assist you and those directly affected by the tragedy.
» It is important to find ways to nurture yourself and create balance during times of distress. While you may feel guilty about doing things that bring you enjoyment during this time, it’s important to take care of yourself so you can assist others and maintain your own health.
» Know yourself and your limits, and seek help when needed. If you are prone to anxiety and depression, limit your exposure to the event and, if needed, be proactive in accessing support.
» Support children by modeling a consistent calm presence and maintaining the usual structure and routine they are accustomed to. Research has shown that one of the best predictors of how children will respond to a tragedy is how their parents respond. Children can know that this event makes you sad, but they need to know you are still in control of your emotions and continue to offer the structure and support they are used to.
» Provide information to children that is appropriate to their developmental age and specific emotional status. Offering limited general information about the tragedy to children who will hear about it from peers or in the media offers you the opportunity to provide accurate information in a supportive setting.
» Encourage children to ask questions they may have about the tragedy.
» Limit media access and try to be in the vicinity when your child is accessing digital information about the tragedy. Ensure a buffer zone of digital free time before bed.
» Be aware of your child’s response and alert to any changes in their behavior, sleep or emotions. Seek help if you feel they are having an unhealthy response to the tragedy.
— Winifred Lender, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Santa Barbara and can be contacted at drwinifredlender@gmail.com. She is the author of A Practical Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age: How to Nurture Safe, Balanced and Connected Children and Teens available at Chaucer’s and Amazon. Dr. Lender completed her undergraduate work at Cornell University and received her master’s and doctorate degrees at the University of Pennsylvania. She completed a fellowship at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia/The University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and is a past president of the Santa Barbara County Psychological Association. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.