Z: Is there a German word — something like schadenfreude or Wienerschnitzel — for when you’re proud of your son, but also jealous and a tad petty?
She: Klobucher?
Z: Funny.
She: Seriously. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I feel nothing but pride for Koss winning a prize at the Green Shorts Film Festival.
Aliens Love the Earth from zak klobucher on Vimeo.
Z: Really? He’s 10. The first video he makes, he gets it screened at the Lobero, and he wins a prize. Our son, therefore, is an award-winning filmmaker. We were in Hollywood for 10 years. I don’t see our Samy’s Camera gift card anywhere.
She: Ah. I think I know what German word you’re looking for: Herr Crappydaddy.
Z: I think that’s French. Like your laissez-faire attitude that I’m just not buying.
She: Nothing but pride. Besides, it was the under-11 category. And it was only two minutes long. I could have kicked butt in that category.
Z: Sure. Nothing but pride.
She: OK. I may be willing to take some of the credit. He is our kid, so we must have raised him right.
Z: And he did enter one of the few videos that had some humor in it.
She: What is up with environmentalists and their lack of humor?
Z: Apparently global Armageddon makes some people Mr. Sourpuss.
She: Bunch of whiners. Really, his film should have won the whole thing.
Z: The other thing that we can take credit for is finding the contest for him in the first place.
She: That wasn’t really that hard.
Z: I don’t know. It means I had to read She Said, Z Said online, and find the ad for the Community Environmental Council’s Green Shorts contest right next to our column. Good thing we make me laugh.
She: I’m not sure if that’s the best plug for the Community Environmental Council.
Z: I’ll tell you the one thing I’m not going to take credit for: the way Koss walked down the Green Carpet at the premiere.
She: I thought he was cute strutting down the Green Carpet with his two starlets on his arms.
Z: That was great. And I loved the beret and the mustache. But what was up with those poses?
She: It’s amazing how the kid can channel Blue Steel, Le Tigre and Ferrari but has never even heard of Zoolander. He’s a natural.
Z: Sure he is. But a natural what? Model? Actor? Red carpet eye candy?
She: Short filmmaker, of course.
Z: My child is anything but short.
She: He’s got the perfect attention span for a two-minute film.
Z: Look! A bunny!
She: Maybe that was our problem when we were in Hollywood. We were going for long form films when our sensibilities may be better suited for skits, or the fifth-grade talent show.
Z: I think we should enter this year. That’s a talent show we could own.
She: Only if I get to sing.
Z: Got it! I finally found the German word I was looking for.
She: And?
Z: PettyDaddyPridenJealousMiniMeEnfreudenschnitzel.
She: Yes, dear.
— Have you seen “the movie?” Share your thoughts with She and Z by e-mailing leslie@lesliedinaberg.com.