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We asked for your help with our 2023 spring Hawks Club membership campaign and, once again, you delivered, helping us surpass our $30,000 goal.

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Speaking of making a difference, I’m not suggesting that the Los Angeles Dodgers read my Best of Bill columns, but has anyone noticed that they’ve been on a tear since my last one? You’re welcome.

During the same period, Noozhawk had an audience of 110,083 readers, according to our Google Analytics. What follows is my own take on your Top 5 most-read stories over the past week.

Remember: This is an opinion column — my opinion — and not a news story.

1. 2 Women Jailed After Vehicle Destroys Parklet in Front of Santa Barbara Pub

I’m not a big fan of dining in the street, and what happened outside the Press Room in downtown Santa Barbara is another reminder why.

As our Tom Bolton reported, a suspected drunken driver plowed into the popular pub’s parklet at 15 E. Ortega St., obliterating the wooden and corrugated metal structure.

Fortunately, no one was injured.

Santa Barbara police Cmdr. Kasi Corbett told Tom that the westbound car made the mess about 1:30 a.m. April 29.

“It looked like they drove a Mack truck through it,” she said.

Corbett said the driver kept going but witnesses provided police with a description, and the officers were able to catch up.

During the subsequent traffic stop, she said, officers determined that “the passenger was actually the driver at the time of the collision.”

Corbett said the driver-turned-passenger — 21-year-old Kiana Murillo of Lincoln — was arrested and booked into Santa Barbara County Jail on suspicion of drunken driving, hit-and-run, and furnishing alcohol to someone under age 21.

She said the passenger-turned-driver — 20-year-old Grace Wells of Santa Barbara — was booked into County Jail on suspicion of drunken driving, hit-and-run, and being a minor driving under the influence.

2. Approaching Storm Could Set Daily Rainfall Record for Santa Barbara

Santa Barbara County has had an unusually rainy rain season this year, so most locals weren’t terribly surprised at the news that more precipitation was headed our way … even though it’s now May.

Sure enough, the bulk of the storm arrived the night of May 3 and gave us a pretty good soaking before clearing out the next day. More rain arrived late on the night of May 4.

As our Tom Bolton reported, county Public Works Department gauges recorded 24-hour rainfall totals ranging from 1.39 inches at historic Rancho San Julian south of Lompoc to a minuscule 0.01 inches in the Cuyama Valley.

But every little bit helps. To date, the county has gotten 203% of normal rainfall for the rain season that began Sept. 1. In case you’re wondering, the soggiest spot is San Marcos Pass, which boasts 242% of normal rainfall.

Meanwhile, Tom deserves a shout-out for his April 30 storm advance, where he came up with a new twist on an old adage: “April flowers bring May showers.” It took me a second to get the turned-around phrase, but it was worth the wait.

Click here for the latest forecast from the National Weather Service.

3. Motorcyclist Killed in Collision with Postal Vehicle in Hope Ranch

A 45-year-old Goleta man died May 2 after the motorcycle he was riding T-boned a U.S. Postal Service truck in Hope Ranch.

As our Tom Bolton reported, the collision occurred about 4:45 p.m. on Marina Drive at Alisa Lane, about a half-mile west of the neighborhood’s eastern entrance at Cliff Drive.

According to the California Highway Patrol, the motorcyclist was traveling east on Marina when his Yamaha R6 slammed into an oncoming USPS vehicle that was turning left into the cul de sac.

The motorcyclist — identified by Santa Barbara County sheriff’s spokeswoman Raquel Zick as Michael Joseph Figone — was declared dead at the scene.

The mail carrier, identified as 33-year-old George Turner of Santa Barbara, was not hurt.

The CHP is investigating the circumstances of the wreck, but drugs or alcohol are not believed to be factors.

A viewing will be held from 9 a.m. to noon May 13 at Welch-Ryce-Haider Funeral Chapel, 15 E. Sola St. in Santa Barbara, with a private celebration of life to follow at the family residence.

4. Bill Macfadyen: Horrific Wreck Has a Deadly Ending on Goleta’s Cathedral Oaks Road

Two weeks after a fiery, suspected DUI crash killed one man and severely injured two others, the community impact of the wreck continued to reverberate around the South Coast.

On April 28, the driver — 18-year-old Daniel Velez-Valerio of Santa Barbara — died at a Southern California hospital where he was being treated for burns and other serious injuries.

California Highway Patrol officials say Velez-Valerio was driving a Ford pickup truck that slammed into a tree and caught fire about 11 p.m. April 20 in the 5500 block of Cathedral Oaks Road, just west of North Kellogg Avenue.

The rear-seat passenger — 22-year-old Christopher James “C.J.” Roulo of Mountain View and Santa Barbara — died in the crash.

Velez-Valerio and a second passenger, 22-year-old Patrick J. Marasciullo of Isla Vista, suffered catastrophic injuries and burns.

CHP Officer Jonathan Gutierrez told our Tom Bolton that Velez-Valerio had been arrested on suspicion of vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence, both felonies.

His death, he said, closes the criminal case, although the investigation of the circumstances of the collision is ongoing.

Marasciullo, who also is being treated at a Southern California burn hospital, reportedly has been making progress in his recovery. But it will be a long and difficult journey.

Both Marasciullo and Velez-Valerio graduated from Dos Pueblos High School. Roulo was an undergraduate assistant coach with the Santa Barbara City College baseball team.

A rosary will be held for Velez-Valerio at 7 p.m. May 9 at Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church, 227 N. Nopal St. in Santa Barbara, with a Mass scheduled for 10 a.m. May 10 at the church. Interment is to follow at Santa Barbara Cemetery, 901 Channel Drive.

5. Billionaire Owner of Michael Jackson’s Former Ranch Sues Over Aerial Photos

Billionaire Ron Burkle, the owner of the late pop star Michael Jackson’s old Neverland Ranch near Los Olivos, has filed a lawsuit against a Camarillo company whose helicopter allegedly was caught taking photos over the 2,800-acre property.

In a Noozhawk exclusive, our Janene Scully reported that the suit was filed in Santa Barbara County Superior Court against Orbic Helicopters Inc., Orbit Helicopters Sales & Service at Camarillo LLC, and 10 unnamed individuals.

The civil complaint — filed last month by Century City attorney Christopher Dacus of GlaserWeil — is based on pictures allegedly captured by a photographer aboard a helicopter flying low over the renamed Sycamore Valley Ranch at 5225 Figueroa Mountain Road, about five miles north of Los Olivos.

“Morbid curiosity about the changes to Sycamore Valley Ranch and Mr. Burkle’s private activities there … have led to dangerous, intrusive and noisy flyovers by helicopters, including one or more helicopters owned and operated by defendants …,” says the complaint, which alleges invasion of privacy from the “paparazzi” pictures. 

Orbic representatives did not respond to Janene’s request for comment.

Jackson died in 2009, but had not lived at the notorious ranch since 2005. The property was first sold in 2009, and Burkle bought it a year later.

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Good Reads

Here are six more stories you should read, too:

» Judge Orders County to Perform Environmental Review for Hot Springs Trailhead Parking Project — Santa Barbara County officials learn that the California Environmental Quality Act applies to them, just like it does for the rest of us. Staff writer Josh Molina has the latest chapter in a farcical Montecito saga.

» Santa Barbara City Council to Review Audit of Police Department, Use of Force — An outside auditor has some recommendations on how to improve Santa Barbara’s police force. Josh issues an APB about the results.

» Man Sentenced to 8 Years in Prison for Starting Loma Fire in Santa Barbara — Managing editor Giana Magnoli wraps up the 2021 Loma Fire with the sentencing of the man convicted of starting it.

» Core Spaces COO Defends Evictions at Isla Vista Apartment Buildings for Needed Renovations — Josh reports that this story won’t be going away any time soon.

» Kyle Foley Goes Off for San Marcos in CIF Quarterfinal Win Over Servite in Four Sets — Sports editor Barry Punzal watches the San Marcos High boys volleyball team on its royal roll in the CIF playoffs. After dispatching Servite, they’ve got a rematch with old nemesis Tesoro on May 6.

» Bill Kitchen of Santa Barbara, 1942-2023 — #RIP to my friend, Bill Kitchen, whose love for life was infectious, and whose curiosity and optimism knew no bounds. Whenever I come across a reference to hydrogen, I’ll think of Bill. He was a gas to be around. Prayers to his wife, Linda.

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Last Year on Noozhawk

What was our most-read story this time last year? Chick-Fil-A Wants to Add 3rd Lane, Remove 15 Parking Spaces to Solve Traffic Problems.

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Bill Macfadyen’s Story of the Week

Here’s a chance to earn your keep: Five Lighthouses Where You Can Be an Overnight Keeper.

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Here’s What I’m Up To

• June 2 — I’m honored to be participating again in the annual sixth-grade exit interviews at Mountain View School in Goleta. This is one of my favorite things I get to do as Noozhawk’s publisher, and the school’s Cougar cubs are always inspiring.
• June 2 — Speaking to the Rotary Club of Santa Barbara. HT to my friend, Steve Baker, for the invitation.

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Best of Bill’s Instagram

My Instagram feed was an assortment of randomness this past week, but the Smashburger at @thirdwindowbrewing is a #bestofbillrecommendation.

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Watch It

Take a moment to see the forest and the trees. HT to Best of Bill reader Walt Jeffris.