It was a beautiful California early summer day. My wife, Marti, and I sat drinking our venti caffe vanilla frappuccinos from the coffee shop’s balcony and taking in the smell of salt air from the nearby ocean. People bustled in and out of the surrounding eateries and businesses below.
A man and a woman sat behind us. The balcony was actually fairly full of midmorning coffee addicts enjoying a break.
Suddenly, the couple seated behind us erupted into an explosive argument. Four-letter expletives ensued.
For the next five minutes, Marti and I endured swearing and the accusations about cheating and sexual conquests on a quickly escalating volume level.
I was amazed that these two people, surrounded by others within close range, went on and on. Did they think because they were sitting outdoors that no one could hear them? It was nauseating.
After about five minutes of this tirade, I asked them to please lower their voices and behave more respectfully. They both turned, looked at me and told me: “Mind your own business.”
Another man sitting on the other side of this rude couple spoke up with: “Honestly, do you think any of us want to hear what you are saying?”
Their response: “You can butt out or leave.” Then they kept right on arguing as if everyone else didn’t exist. You would have thought they were seated in a private room!
What gave this couple the idea that they had the “right” to have what should have been a private argument in the midst of total strangers?
The only “right” they have is to behave like human beings, not animals. In fact, most animals are more considerate to each other than these two were.
Consider this: as individuals we have obligations. They include behaving with decency and respect for others. Common courtesy has a lot to do with those we like and those we don’t. Why we like another has a lot more to do with how they make us “feel” when we are around them.
That’s more important than looks, or wealth or anything else. We all tend to find another likeable if he or she is considerate of our feelings before their own. And, it’s a reciprocal concept that many people just don’t seem to get.
Helen Keller once said, “Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us, which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.”
So you can swear in public and talk rudely within earshot of others. You can go around not caring about others, only yourself.
But, if you do, what does that make you? Will you be successful in life with that type of image?
If you persist in this way of thinking, what are the consequences? If you feel you have the right to do this, would you hire yourself for a job? Would you rent a room to a person who behaves this way?
If you are being honest, the answer would be “no.”
Finally, ask the final question. If you were flying across country in an airplane, would you want to endure another person sitting next to you cursing and spewing his or her most intimate details and general dislike of life in your direction?
I doubt it.
So, yes, this is a graphic scenario about the inconsideration of another. It is only intended to make you stop and think about the absolute importance of having consideration for others.
— John Daly is the founder and president of The Key Class, the go-to guide for good manners and job search success. Click to learn more about The Key Class, or to buy the book. Follow John on Facebook and Twitter @johnjdalyjr. Do you have an etiquette question? ASK John at johnKeyClass@gmail.com. The opinions expressed are his own.