What is your perception of young relatives who never respond to gifts you’ve sent them? Let’s take a closer look at what my question involves.
First, let’s review the scenario. You and your wife go to a lot of trouble to never forget your nieces and nephews. Every birthday, every Christmas is always celebrated with a nice gift and a lovely card.
You don’t do it because you have to. It’s because you care, and you want to show your appreciation of them — let them know you are thinking about them.
You do this across the board, and you really don’t have expectations of anything in return. Or, do you?
For instance, for the past 18-odd years, you’ve sent your nephew gifts consistently. And, within a week or two, the said nephew has always handwritten you and your wife a thank-you note, detailing how much he appreciates the gift and how he plans to use it.
Nice, huh? Your perception of this young man is that he is well-mannered, polite, appreciative and really cares about you and his relationship with you. Enough said.
On the other hand, for the same past 18 years, you’ve sent your niece gifts consistently. Time goes by, and there is neither written nor verbal recognition. Did she receive the gift? Can she use it? Does she really care whether you sent her something?
Your perception, even though you try not to think such things, is that her parents somehow didn’t teach her good manners, that she is somewhat self-centered and that she really doesn’t appreciate her relationship with you. It’s hard not to feel somewhat slighted, isn’t it?
So, what’s the difference between those kids who write thank-you notes and those who don’t?
According to Ann Brenoff at The Huffington Post, there are eight reasons. Three of them are that their parents “don’t make them!” Other reasons are:
» The parents themselves haven’t set the example because they don’t send thank-you notes themselves.
» Kids have been told they can’t be emailed.
» They are super-busy socializing and don’t have time.
» Other kids don’t do it. It isn’t cool.
» If you sent them a check, they figure when you get the canceled copy, you’ll know they got it.
Another reason: “I don’t have notecards.” Geez, a trip to the store can solve that problem!
All are fairly lame excuses, wouldn’t you agree?
When someone takes the time and money to do something nice for you, there is never an excuse not to send a thank-you note.
So, if you want others to have the perception that you care about them, aren’t self-absorbed and are on top of your game, consider that success and failure are often brought about by the perception others have of you.
If you are a parent, focus on the small things, like thank-you notes, that will help improve your children’s chances of being viewed positively. And, start by being a role model for the behavior you want them to exhibit.
— John Daly is the founder and president of The Key Class, the keys to life skills success. Click to learn more about The Key Class, or click here to buy his book. John’s new book, 74 Key Life Skills for a Happy, Successful Life, is available on Amazon. Connect with The Key Class on Facebook and follow John on Twitter @johnjdalyjr. Do you have a question about business or social etiquette? Ask John at johnKeyClass@gmail.com. The opinions expressed are his own.