Question from Reed
I need help with falling asleep. I’ve been falling asleep at like 4 a.m. every day (right now it’s 4:30 a.m.) and I can’t fall asleep. I just want to be able to go to sleep at night and not be tired all day. Please help!
Weezy
Some people have more trouble than others falling asleep, but there are steps you can take that involve and include you mustering some discipline and establishing a routine.
START trying to get to sleep earlier. This means getting offline. STOP playing games, watching videos, interacting with friends or whatever else you do online. If you need to hand your device to your parents at 9 p.m., then do that.
Give yourself something you can look forward to doing every night that will help you relax your body and mind. Something very low tech. Write or read or listen to music or draw or journal for an hour. Then turn off the light, lie on your back, close your eyes and think about relaxing all of the muscles in your face, jaw and tongue. Then think about everything you have accomplished in your day that makes you feel proud and happy. Say a gratitude prayer. What are you thankful for?
I saw a meme that read, “What is wrong with these people who just easily fall asleep!!?? Don’t they have thoughts!!??”
I know that even my soothing thought suggestions may send you down distracting rabbit holes full of things you were supposed to do or conversations that went sideways. You rewind them and rewrite them, etc.
So if you still find yourself getting wound up over “relaxing” thoughts, then here’s what works for me: song lyrics. Find songs that you know by heart. I use Hamilton because it’s so rhythmic and I am generally asleep before I get to “The Schuyler Sisters.” But use what works for you.
It’s important to find lyrics that you know very well because, whenever I get stuck on a lyric, I will wrestle with it, get distracted and be unable to fall asleep. But if I know the lyrics well then reciting them in my head is very calming, and it drowns out other thoughts and allows me to sleep.
Something else that may work for you is reading this lengthy response to your question … But print it out because no devices after 9 p.m.!
(Tech Insider video)
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Question from Cole
How do I get new friends??
Weezy
The answer can be as short as the question. If you want a friend, be a friend. Whatever we wish to have, we must be willing to give away. Look around you. Who needs a friend? Offer a smile. Lend a hand. Share a compliment. Be friendly. Join clubs and organizations that encourage people to work together. When you are involved in an activity with others it’s less awkward to start a conversation and get to know someone.
Always remember that as much as you need a friend, a future friend needs you. You are not just asking someone to give you their friendship. You are offering yours in return, which is a valuable gift. You deserve friends and they deserve an opportunity to know what you have to offer. So go show them who you are.
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Question from Katie
Hi Weezy. I am a 15-year-old girl, and I have been wearing glasses since I was in second grade. Just two weeks ago I tried contacts for the first time. I really liked them because my glasses weren’t constantly falling off. I kind of want to wear the contacts full time.
I know it will take a little for other people to get used to what I look like without glasses. And obviously they will, but what I’m worried about is that I’ll look back at pictures with my glasses and hate how I looked and no longer like pictures that are my favorites right now. This may seem silly, but it really bothers me because pictures are very important to me because they capture moments in time, and that could be all you have left at some point.
Anyway, this is holding me back from wearing the contacts full time, and I don’t know what to do. If you have any advice I’d appreciate it.
Should I wear my contacts for a week and then my glasses for a week and switch off? So I am used to how I look in both? Or only wear glasses or only wear contacts?
Thanks, Katie.
Weezy
I can totally relate to this question because I have gone back and forth between contacts and glasses, as well. I used to be completely self conscious about displaying my face with or without glasses when I feared that people had become familiar with the previous version of me.
Here is what I have come to learn: Glasses or not, it’s still your face. You remain you regardless of whether you are wearing glasses. You are not “lying” to the world about what you look like with your glasses on or with your glasses off. You do not need to register as a glasses wearer with the city or take a solemn oath that your face either features glasses or does not.
It’s always still your face.
Think of your glasses the way you think of a hat or shoes or sunglasses. You can wear them or not wear them, and you are still and always you. At your age, when you are trying to figure out just exactly who you are, I know it feels like you need to declare yourself one way or the other regarding this. You don’t.
I first got glasses when I was 10. I switched to contacts when I was around 20. I wore them for about 10 years until I noticed that my eyes were uncomfortable most of the time, and I went back to glasses. My husband had a similar experience and he opted for the Lasik surgery, which permanently adjusts your long-distance vision. That was his choice, but when he puts on his reading glasses I don’t point and yell, “Who are you and what have you done with Ron!?”
No one gets to tell you what you should or should not put on your face. I have taken off my glasses and had people say, “Oh, I can see your eyes better without your glasses.” “Sorry. It’s not your face. It’s mine,” and a lot of people wear fake glasses because they think they’re cute.
Glasses are not just vision correcting, they are also a fashion accessory, so it really is up to you. You can love every photo of you looking back because a photo represents how you looked the moment that photo was taken. The photo contains the clothes you wore that day. The haircut you had. Where and how you were posing, and the glasses — or the lack of glasses — that were perched on your nose.
A photo is not a declaration of how you will forever look. It’s not a prediction. It’s a history. So treasure all of your photos and either wear your glasses or not. It’s your face and your life.
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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at news@noozhawk.com and it may be answered in a subsequent column.
— Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She also hosts a weekly video podcast called Things I Found Online, and teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.