Z: Our very first Festivus party.

She: Big whoop.

Z: Not impressed?

She: There’s something intrinsically un-festive about celebrating irony.

Z: You’re clearly not embracing the Festivus spirit. I got a problem with that.

She: It’s a holiday that was invented by a sitcom that’s been off the air for a decade.

Z: Seinfeld didn’t invent the holiday. The father of the writer of the Festivus episode invented the holiday.

She: It wasn’t invented just for Seinfeld?

Z: Nope. The writer’s father invented it to commemorate his first date with his future wife.

She: I guess that’s the kind of family you have to come from if you’re going to grow up to be a sitcom writer.

Z: I think they may have invented some of the Festivus activities for the episode, but not the faux-liday itself.

She: I don’t know. The party we went to, there were no presents and no singing. I’m pretty sure that’s not a holiday.

Z: There was food.

She: Which was mercifully inauthentic. I think the Festivus meal is supposed to be meatloaf.

Z: And there was drink. I think that pretty much describes a holiday. More important, there was a real Festivus pole.

She: It still had the www.festivuspoles.com sticker on it.

Z: And I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first year that Dr. B has pulled the ol’ Festivus pole out of his crawlspace. That constitutes tradition, which means holiday.

She: I did enjoy the traditional Airing of the Grievances.

Z: Mine was good: I was annoyed that he texted us our invitation to the Festivus party. How is that keeping in the spirit of Festivus? It feels like too modern of an interpretation.

She: True. There was definitely no texting on Seinfeld.

Z: Texting seems rather extraneous to Festivus.

She: Although a lot of the kids were texting during the party. I could have aired a grievance about that.

Z: Do you think they were texting back and forth to each other?

She: Airing their gripes via text? Hmm. That does sound Festivusian in spirit.

Z: But it was more fun for me when all of the kids started arguing with each other out loud, in the spirit of the holiday, and Mrs. Dr. B yelled at Dr. B to stop goading the kids into a fight. That was some real Festivusian spirit right there.

She: You’re right. This is sounding more and more like a real holiday.

Z: I did think the Feats of Strength were a little weak.

She: I was impressed by the kids’ pull-ups, but the dads’ showing was rather weak.

Z: Old shoulder injury.

She: Yeah. Otherwise you’d have been in there with your one-arm pull up.

Z: I still believe they should have followed tradition, and the party should have ended when someone pinned the host to the ground.

She: There’s still time. That’s the beauty of Festivus. It’s not tied to any pesky dates. You can get out your pole and dance on your grievances all year long.

Z: Uh, actually Festivus is traditionally celebrated on Dec. 23, the night of the party.

She: Wow. The date wasn’t even printed on our calendar, and yet thanks to a text message we were able to make it just in time for the Festivus celebration.

Z: It’s a Festivus miracle.

She: Yes, dear.

— Share your Festivus traditions with She and Z by e-mailing leslie@lesliedinaberg.com.